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Friday, June 14, 2024

When we heard seven UF women are featured in this month's issue of Playboy, we immediately ran to the nearest gas station to buy a copy for our office.

The issue contains a spread on the "Girls of the SEC." The students were photographed back in April after on-campus auditions. Unfortunately, they didn't get to meet Hugh Hefner, but they said could visit the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles any time they want.

What an honor.

The magazine got us thinking - what kind of Playboy and Playgirl spreads might we like to see of UF figures? You know, like those "READ" posters in the libraries - but naked. Weak stomachs beware; we don't think these would all be pretty pictures…

The most obvious photograph would be UF President Bernie Machen posing on his Harley, wearing nothing but a leather jacket. Of course, the hog would be cleverly positioned to keep this photo PG-13. A fan would make it look like he was riding into the sunset.

Student Body President Ryan Moseley is also a given for the shoot. If his hair looks that good, well, we can only imagine about the rest of his body. This picture would feature Moseley in his third-floor office in the Reitz Union. It's cliche, we know, but is there anything better than the wearing-nothing-but-a-tie, feet-on-the-desk pose? We don't think so. Maybe we'll even throw in a sexy student senator, too.

Vice President of Student Affairs Patricia Telles-Irvin would be in this spread, too. She started the Gator Common Reading Program this year, which encouraged all first-year students to read a book before coming to UF to give them all a common experience. So of course, Telles-Irvin would appear among stacks of books in Library West. She would wear a pencil behind one ear and some glasses to give off a sexy-librarian look. Telles-Irvin said she hopes the reading program will become a tradition. If it had promotional posters like this, it would be sure thing.

We're willing to bet Andrew Meyer wouldn't mind stripping down to his skivvies, as long as it were being photographed. UF's newest celebrity could pose with a few sexy women holding Tasers. As long as they don't shock him, everything should be OK.

Albert and Alberta wouldn't want to miss out on the fun. Besides, who hasn't wondered about what's underneath his orange sweater and her pleated dress? We're visualizing a romantic scene shot in front of Lake Alice. But this photo wouldn't be too graphic - after all, Albert and Alberta are just really good friends.

They may not be recognizable to every student, but most graduate students could use a little extra dough. We could probably round up a handful of starving Teaching Assistants, as long as they were promised a free meal of anything other than ramen noodles or beans.

And no spread would be complete without a few Men of the SEC. Tim Tebow, Andre Caldwell and Percy Harvin would pose in Ben Hill Griffin Stadium with strategically placed footballs and Gators helmets, wearing just their mesh practice jerseys.

As Jessica Macbeth, one of the women who really was photographed, put it - isn't it great to be "young and hot"?

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