When people think of college, they probably think of a smorgasbord of sex. Education comes to mind too, but we college students live in an environment where sex is constantly on the brain.
Let's look at the facts. We are young adults with similar goals in life, and the majority of us aren't concerned with developing serious relationships because this is the one time in our lives when it is OK to experiment. We have the rest of our lives to be serious, right?
Rolling Stone Magazine may have said it best when it described college as the "booze-fueled culture of the never-ending hookup." I guess they said it best, considering I'm not exactly part of that hookup culture. Because, um, the truth is … the truth is …I am still a virgin.
"What? You're still a virgin?" I can feel you asking as your eyes boggle out of their sockets. Yeah, I am. And no, I'm not extremely religious or anything, I just haven't done it yet - and it's beginning to stress me out.
Being a virgin in college can be pretty nerve-wracking because it seems like everyone has already "done it." Friends who used to be able to relate to my nervousness are now retelling saucy stories from the night before. "Aww, Colleen, don't worry," they say in reassuring tones as soon as they remember I'm not as experienced as they are. "You'll learn all about this stuff when you start having sex."
Psh, yeah. Maybe when I'm 40.
Because I've waited this long, I feel like I'm doomed to remain chaste forever because the window of opportunity for a not-so-awkward first time ended when high school did. At least when we were a little younger, the majority of our peers were inexperienced, so it didn't matter if you were "good" or "bad" because no one knew the difference anyway.
But as we get older, most potential partners have already "done it," which means they have something to compare it to.
Never having sex before adds a layer of uncertainty to the nature of relationships. When should you mention that you've never done it? Is it the first date, second date - hold on, do people in college even go on dates? But now that we're older, how long do people usually wait before they have sex?
I know it is different for everyone, but it doesn't help when people constantly tell you different things. Some people wait two weeks into their relationship to have sex while others wait four months. It also doesn't help when a lot of friends say, "Oh man, you'll hate your first time - I did." Gee, thanks. That's really going to make my stress-o-meter jump a few notches, as if I weren't already nervous enough.
Why can't we all just go back to the time when everything was simple and innocent, when all you had to do if you wanted a boyfriend or girlfriend was to write "Yes" or "No" on a folded piece of paper and wait for your crush to circle a reply? It was so much easier that way.
Oh well, there's no point in wasting time worrying about sex because it'll happen when it happens - even if I have to wait until I'm 40.
Colleen Shea is a sophomore majoring in journalism. Her column appears on Fridays.
