Skip to Content, Navigation, or Footer.
We inform. You decide.
Sunday, April 21, 2024

Ah, Homecoming weekend. The grills are lit, the RVs are parked, the beer is on ice. We'd be lying if we said we don't enjoy it. Even though Archer Road is more packed than a tin of sardines and our favorite bars are at capacity, we wouldn't trade this three-day weekend for anything.

But who are we kidding? The Department of Darts & Laurels knows this weekend is about one thing and one thing only: football. So enjoy the parade, laugh your butt off at Gator Growl and yell out "Free bird!" when that band comes on. But most of all, we're looking forward to the game. Until then, we present the touchdown edition of…

Darts & Laurels

First up, a Tebow-style-stiffarm-run-for-a-first-down LAUREL to the Panhellenic Council's Junior Panhellenic Division for its annual "Ghouls, Goblins, and Greeks" event. The Halloween extravaganza provided Gainesville residents a safe place to bring their costumed kids where they could play games, meet SpongeBob SquarePants and of course, collect tons of candy. Plus, what could be cuter than all those adorable kids in costume?

Next we have to give a fake-punt-trick-play LAUREL to Graduate Assistants United and Students for a Democratic Society for staging a protest about giving teaching and research assistants more time to pay their fees. As much as it pains us to say that SDS actually protested something worthwhile, we'll give them credit for this one.

As we said in Thursday's editorial, it's not fair for our TAs to have to shell out for all of their fees at a time when money is invariably at its tightest. It makes much more sense for them to be able to have their fees deducted from their paychecks throughout the semester. We go to a university, for crying out loud - someone should be able to figure out how to make this happen.

Perhaps someone like a chief financial officer? We give a dem's-mad-recruiting-skillz LAUREL to UF administrators for hiring Matthew Fajack to be UF's new CFO. The title may sound like something more appropriate for Morgan Stanley, but it's time we realize UF is basically a corporation - and a multi-million-dollar one, at that. Fajack will have to analyze UF's finances and make recommendations pertaining to them.

As much as it makes UF seem even more impersonal, in this time of budget cuts and financial woes, UF must have a CFO if it wants to stay on top of its game.

We've got a the-play-clock-is-winding-down-and-thank-God LAUREL to the end of the Andrew Meyer ordeal. Now that all the investigations are complete and the punishments meted out, hopefully we can all get back to normal. And who knows, maybe Meyer will be able to, as well. Then we can go back to thinking about the first Meyer: Urban.

In case you're a little hungover after partying all night on Halloween or Thursday night or even Friday, have we got a cure for you. We have a better-than-spaghetti-and-Gatorade LAUREL for Starbucks, which is churning out mochas at its newest Gainesville location in the Reitz Union. While we hate that Starbucks is taking over UF - not to mention the world - we know it's a damn good way to make some much needed moolah.

Finally, we close with a Tebow-throws-to-Harvin-who-runs-in-for-a-TD-to-beat-the-Commodores-by-about-100-points LAUREL to the Gators football team. We're confident they'll win this one and make us bowl-eligible. We'll see you Saturday in the Swamp.

Enjoy what you're reading? Get content from The Alligator delivered to your inbox
Support your local paper
Donate Today
The Independent Florida Alligator has been independent of the university since 1971, your donation today could help #SaveStudentNewsrooms. Please consider giving today.

Powered by SNworks Solutions by The State News
All Content © 2024 The Independent Florida Alligator and Campus Communications, Inc.