Well, the good news is that it's Friday, which means you've managed to make it through another Valentine's Day. The weekend ahead is sure to be free of anything forcibly romantic - unless of course you're into that sort of thing. Here at the Darts & Laurels headquarters, we had tons of fun reading over the sappy Heartlines and laughing at those pink-and-red-clad coeds schlepping around campus with a bunch of carnations. So sit back, grab a box full of those candy hearts and join us for this week's edition of…
Darts & Laurels
Of course we couldn't start off this edition without handing over a great-job-coming-up-with-a-lame-excuse DART to the UF Supreme Court for announcing Tuesday night that an online voting system in Student Government elections would be unconstitutional.
The court's Chief Justice Brian Aungst said online voting would interfere with SG's ability to prevent voter coercion. So, he's naturally assuming that SG ever had that ability from the beginning.
What we really don't get is how officials elected to represent the student body could be so out of touch with what the majority actually wants. Maybe they should get off those BlackBerrys once in a while and talk to those they're supposed to be representing - hey, just a thought. If FSU can pass online voting with no problem, it makes us wonder what the hell is going on here.
We had more high hopes Tuesday, but like an unattractive blind date, we were once again disappointed. The do-you-really-think-it's-a-good-time-for-another-condo DART goes to the Alachua County Commission for approving the Gainesville Golf and Country Club's expansion near the edge of Paynes Prairie Preserve State Park. Although the county's Growth Management Department did not recommend approving the proposal, the commissioners went ahead and sent it up to the state level. We're just hoping that those in Tallahassee will have more sense and shoot it down.
It became apparent this week that lawmakers in Washington, D.C., also lack common sense - not that we're even remotely surprised. An aren't-there-more-important-things-to-worry-about DART goes to Congress for devoting time and effort to investigating the possibility that famous athletes in Major League Baseball used performance enhancing drugs. While the American public was transfixed with whether the "misremembering" Roger Clemens shot human growth hormones into his ass, Congress also managed to amend the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act and allow warrantless wiretapping. Great timing, guys. Really.
Speaking of federal incompetence, we proudly spear U.S. Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings with an actually-it's-part-of-your-job-description-as-the-leader-in-education DART. During an appearance at the Community College National Legislative Summit, Spellings repeatedly told students and administrators that high textbook prices were not an issue for the federal government and should be left to the states and the colleges themselves to deal with. Apparently, Spellings is an expert at deflecting problems she is supposed to be actively solving, rather than actually doing anything productive. But rest assured, she is "all ears" for suggestions that don't involve spending any cash.
One thing that made this week a whole lot better was knowing that we won't have to watch Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert struggle through their nightly broadcasts any longer. A you-saved-the-future-of-television-from-lame-game-shows LAUREL goes to the Hollywood screenwriters of the Writers Guild of America, West who voted to end the three-month strike. It's high time they get back to work, so we can find a watchable distraction from ours.
