I thought very long and hard about what I could write to my fellow Gainesvillians about sex. What could I write on this highly charged, controversial topic?
I didn't want to write a bunch of fluff, I definitely didn't want to give "100 Tips" on anything, and I don't want to tell you things you already know.
The aim of my articles is to give you the tools to improve your sex life, even if you don't think you have one. Trust me, you do. Sex is everywhere. Sex is life. Sex has been repressed and given a bad name for far too long. Sex has been put up on an unnecessary pedestal that makes us fear it, feel ashamed about it and stunt our growth process as human beings. Sex has put us here for thousands of years, and sex is taking us to the future.
So, let's start from the beginning and make this the foreplay of articles since we're getting to know each other. Let's start with you. Do you love yourself?
You should because the first thing I'm going to cover is the most simple yet crucial key to great sex. It sounds clichéd, but self-acceptance will take you a long way.
Why? Picture this: You and your partner are about to have sex. You may be enjoying yourself, but there's a nagging voice in the back of your head that forces you under the covers and makes you scramble for the light switch as you think, "I hope he doesn't notice my (insert insecurity here)."
Sex might not be enjoyable because a number of us feel impeded in some way. We don't feel good enough; we don't feel beautiful, and we feel downright ugly about our bodies and ourselves. Guys and girls alike are subjected to unrealistic imagery of what we should be, as opposed to what we are. Face it, not all of us are going to be the thin, big-busted, hairless, leggy supermodel type.
Instead of thinking about what you hate in your body, think about what you love about it. You may hate your stomach, but you have great legs. Tune in to the parts of your body that you absolutely love; then learn to love every other part.
Whatever your obsession, just tell yourself it's not that bad because more than likely, it's not. Those around you are not going to notice whatever flaw you're worried about. Your partner is especially not going to notice it while you're having sex, and if he does, then you shouldn't be with that person.
Love yourself. Accept yourself as you are in all your beauty, even your beautiful "flaws." When you love yourself, it gives you an insane amount of confidence, which is the sexiest thing you could ever wear. You may not believe me, but it's up to you to try it.
