As part of the follow-up to my first article, I thought I would continue to talk about codependency because if you have full love for yourself, you won't be codependent.
We all know someone that is constantly in a relationship on the grounds of being "lonely" or some other excuse.
I'm here to say, "stop."
Some use a relationship as a means of escaping something they want to avoid in their own lives. Some use it as a way of feeling "complete," but if you're the kind of person who bounces from relationship to relationship, are you really happy?
I sympathize, don't get me wrong. Perhaps everyone in your social circle is in a relationship, and you seem to be the only one that isn't. It doesn't help that if you're on Facebook, or any Web site for that matter, there are advertisements that make you feel bad about being single. They trick you into thinking you need to be in a relationship with headlines like "Over 21 and Still Single?" as if we're already extremely old and running out of time.
I say, don't be upset by it, and don't buy into it! Use this as a time to figure yourself out. You can't expect another person to know exactly what you want when you don't even know yourself.
Read that book you've always wanted to, work out more, get those grades up, get involved with clubs, sports, religious groups - the possibilities are endless. Stretch those independence muscles. You don't need a relationship when you have yourself.
We have been told all our lives that we need a relationship to complete us. What a heavy, stressful term. The dictionary defines "complete" as "lacking nothing" or "whole." Equating relationships to a means of completion makes us think we can't live without someone.
Let's turn this charged term around. Think of the person you want to be with as someone to complement your personality, rather than complete it. If you're already body, heart and mind, what else do you need?
Work on getting out of this needy mind-set. Before anyone else can love you, you have to learn to live with and love yourself. Love is inside of you, and you can't expect anyone else to fill a gap that's up to you to fix. You'll find that you'll attract that right person once you find contentment in yourself.
