LuckyD0g21: So what are your plans for this weekend?
SunshineGrl43: I'm gonna hang out with the girls and maybe go see Bride Wars.
LuckyD0g21: You think you can squeeze me in for a date?
No matter how it's phrased or what online method is used, it's becoming more common for guys to ask girls out online.
I can't help but wonder why.
My friends suggested shyness, a desire to speed up the relationship or maybe just the opportunity presenting itself. Though these are all critical, I think the real core issue is rejection. That, I think, is the harsh reality that makes guys use the online method when asking girls out.
They can ask for a date and if the answer is no, well, it wasn't said to their face, so they've saved their ego. How convenient.
Since when did rejection become so avoidable?
Rejection is something we should face, I believe, fairly frequently. Rejection will make you tougher and make you work for the things you really want. If there's someone you wish to spend time with, no amount of rejection will stop you from getting what you want.
Aside from the obvious, experiencing rejection will influence how you reject others. My personal experience with rejection, though sometimes painful, has proved beneficial.
When I was placed in the position to refuse an applicant for hire, I did it gently and gave her another option, pointing her across the street to another place that was hiring. Who knows - maybe I pushed her through the door that was supposed to be opened by my rejection of her application.
Avoiding rejection and placing buffers around you to prevent rejection is, quite frankly, weak. Rejection and all the other pains of life make you stronger, so avoiding them is your undoing. Knowing this, I won't accept a proposal for a date when asked online.
Ask me in person, or ask me over the phone and put yourself out there. Show me your courage; show me you're willing to face rejection to get what you really want.
I'm not saying that asking a girl out in person or over the phone where you're more vulnerable will secure your chances of scoring a date. Nope, I can't guarantee that. However, it will make us respect you. It reminds us what you're putting on the line to ask us out: yourself. It also reminds us ladies that we can't just CTRL+ALT+DEL the conversation like nothing happened.
No, if we turn your offer down we need to do it gracefully and nicely because we are dealing with a person and not some vague online identity. Conversing and dealing with people in person is tough on both parties, but we haven't reached a point in our lives where we strictly deal with people online. We still have to master face-to-face interaction with people, which means we need to practice it.
So put down your BlackBerry or iPhone and say hello to the person next to you - especially if it's a person you're interested in. And instead of asking them for their e-mail address, I suggest starting with, "You wanna get some coffee?"
Michelle A. Hipps is a telecommunications senior.
