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Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Relationship karma is karma's lesser-known and more sadistic cousin, and I assure you it is not lacking at colleges across the nation. With no shortage of sex-starved students, immorally themed parties and dollar-pitcher nights at the nearest bar, college is a breeding ground for screwing and - often - screwing over. But thanks to relationship karma, you can be sure that what goes around in your love life will come back around to bite you in the rear.

Maybe you've already become acquainted with relationship karma. At some point during your college career, you are likely to give someone the short end of the…err…shaft. Whether it's not calling back what's-her-name from three nights ago or rushing from a date with your significant other to a date with your "on-call-masseuse," you've become an expert in duping.

Eventually, relationship karma will track you down. It could happen days, weeks or years after your deceitful intentions have taken place. But it will happen before you can exclaim, "Why aren't they calling, I like my partners to lack self-esteem, they're supposed to come crawling back to me,"

But God has already witnessed your selfish ways. He's shaking His head declaring, "I don't think so," and next thing you know the tables are turned.

Like most other college students, I'm no one-night-stand to relationship karma. Hell, I've had it come back to me so many times, it should be a friend on my Facebook account.

Recently, I'd been casually involved with a girl I'd met through friends. Sparks flew and clothes fell off throughout the first few weeks, but gradually I lost interest. Without realizing the damage I was doing, I began ignoring the girl at parties, texting throughout the day was reduced to an 8 p.m. text and I only kissed her when necessary. Still, I was rather surprised when she stopped returning my calls a week later.

Consulting my friends, I discovered what an ass I'd been. My one friend explained best, "She was at your feet. She cooked for you, she drove you around when you were too intoxicated to do it yourself. And you threw her away. Can you blame her for finally getting a shred of dignity and not sticking around to see what happened next?" And the real burner? "The only reason you miss her is because you cannot stand the idea that someone would deny you."

Such an defamatory statement made me wonder why I was upset with the abrupt end to our relationship. Was it because I actually cared? Was it because I had wanted to be the one with the final say? Or was it because I was so horny that even my couch had a certain allure to it? I have to admit that I still don't know.

I'll also admit, in the end, I got my well-deserved comeuppance. It's best to think twice before acting on your impulses and disregarding the feelings of another. And if you're cold enough to not care about that, at least know relationship karma still follows the Golden Rule learned in kindergarten - "Treat others as you want to be treated."

You can ignore that rule, but trust me, you won't be getting out unscathed.

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