If you're Micah Lewis, your bowtie must be spinning with delight.
That's because on Wednesday morning, barring any serious roadblocks, delays or an appearance by the Ghost of Patronage Past, Lewis is going to wake up and have something he didn't have 24 hours before: an ungodly amount of power.
Tonight, the UF Student Senate, the largest collection of Napoleonic complexes and politiclowns that doesn't rhyme with "Box Blues Flannel," will try to ram through legislation that will - for a lack of a better word - make the minority party its personal gimp.
Under the proposed legislation, the Senate president (that's our good friend Micah) will have the power to silence any voice of dissent. If you've ever sat in on a heated Senate meeting (oh, you're one of those people with a "social life" procedure, how silly of us to presume), you know debate can devolve into one step above chimps throwing feces at each other, and a certain level of decorum must be kept. Having said that, it opens up the possibility of the Senate president, whether now or in the future, being a master gatekeeper who could swing his or her hammer at minority opposition just because "they weren't nice to me." Such a move, if it passes, would turn the Senate Chambers into one person's puppet show, a show that screams "SOLD OUT."
But that's not what really irks us (go ahead, let him/her put that on the grad school resume). The Unite Party also plans to push through a measure that would nullify its pledge to put senators' voting records online - because that's transparency the American way! But worry ye not: Unite will find some way to use abstract, incredibly vague language to justify its political gymnastics - the textbook case of a "Blue job."
Here's our response language in the most scholarly, dressed-up way possible: It's bullshit.
