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Saturday, May 11, 2024

We've made it through another week.

All of you have surely dived, headfirst, into your classes this semester, and this weekend will probably be a chance for some of you to relax a bit and recharge for next week.

Like you, we're taking it easy this week with our weekly awards editorial, and hopefully you'll have some laughs as you head to and from class.

So, alas, we begin our according-to-some-no-one-takes-the-editorial-section-seriously-anyway edition of...

Darts and Laurels

First, we are giving an it's-time-to-get-some-funnel-cake-then-regret-it-later LAUREL to Alachua County for bringing back the county fair.

Last year, due to unpaid debts, the fair had to take a year off. Now it is back and should provide some entertainment in this often uneventful town.

Most students have probably heard about student-professor relationships, and perhaps the recipient of our way-to-be-a-creeper DART got jealous. Music professor Arnold Irchai's firing was recently upheld by an arbitrator after he was let go for forcing a kiss on one of his students. How desperate do you have to be?

A recent report indicates that a high-profile politician might also have had a college fling, but with a high-profile athlete.

This particular politician is often associated with racism, so the target of her youthful attraction could be surprising to some.

 

That's why we're shooting an ebony-and-ivory LAUREL to Sarah Palin for allegedly hooking up with basketball star Glen Rice during their time at the University of Michigan. Yeah, she hit that.

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Do you hate fun? Are you a sexist? Then you might want to move to the winner of our ruining-the-fun-for-everyone DART to Iran. Since both men and women are participating in them, Iranian officials are trying to prevent flash mobs from starting water gun fights around the country.

No wonder President Ahmadinejad is so angry all the time.

If you like romance, this country might be right for you. But watch out, because you might get fined if you're not romantic enough. That is why our this-is-why-nobody-likes-you DART goes to France. That's right, a French court ordered a man to fork over 10,000 euros to his ex-wife for not having enough sex. And people say men are sex-crazed.

However, there is a court case we can all get behind. We're throwing an it's-about-time LAUREL to Circuit Judge Belvin Perry for forcing Casey Anthony to fork over $100,000 to pay for the cost of investigating her daughter's case. Anthony led the police on a wild goose chase, costing everyone involved tons of time and money. To some, this might not be justice, but it sure is sweet.

Have a fun and safe weekend, and be sure to check back next week.

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