We hope everyone has had a great week. We have a lot to cover today, so without further ado, it's time for our does-anyone-even-read-this-introductory-part-anyway edition of...
Darts & Laurels
First, we have to throw a to-infinity-and-beyond DART to Newt Gingrich who recently said his big goal as president would be to colonize the moon. Apparently, America needs to stop spending money on wasteful programs and focus on real important things ... like colonizing the moon.
Next up, we give an A-for-effort LAUREL to Michael Fuller, a 53-year-old man who tried to purchase nearly $500 worth of items at a North Carolina Walmart with a $1 million bill.
It's surprising that he's only being charged with attempting to obtain property by false pretense and not for being under the influence.
And for a wonderful display of dumb, we toss a why-don't-you-try-knocking-next-time-you-idiot DART to the DeKalb County, Ga. police officer who shot and killed a family's dog while responding to a possible armed domestic dispute call. When he entered the home, he was met by a German shepherd that was chained in the garage. The officer said when the dog lunged at him, he shot it.
Turns out the officer went to the wrong house. But hey, at least the officer isn't facing disciplinary action. Good call, DeKalb County police.
For standing up to the Man, we give a relief-MacGyver-style LAUREL to a 12-year-old boy from Houston who, after being denied permission to leave class to use the restroom, used a water bottle as a makeshift toilet to relieve his bladder. To be fair, not allowing people to go to the restroom should be a form of torture.
For being a complete moron, we throw a so-about-those-parking-tickets DART to a Kissimmee parking enforcement agent who was giving incorrectly dated tickets to drivers for parking on blocks without parking restriction signs.
The agent has also been ticketing cars in privately owned parking lots that are out of the city's jurisdiction. One city resident summed up the agent's antics, saying, "She obviously doesn't know her numbers, doesn't know math or anything."
Finally, we award a going-where-it-matters LAUREL to the students from UF and other schools around the state who went to the capitol in Tallahassee yesterday for Rally in Tally.
While we won't comment specifically on their demands yet, we support the fact that they are going to Tallahassee to let their voices be heard. It's a lot more effective than yelling and screaming around Turlington Plaza about policies that can only be changed by the state legislature.
Have a fun and safe weekend, and be sure to check back next week.
