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Saturday, June 15, 2024

Loans have dropped and like the good student that you are supposed to be, you should go out and use it to buy books and school supplies or put it aside and use it to repay debts that you will accumulate throughout your college career. However, you and I both know that you are not a good student and you are going to use that loan money to buy anything but school supplies.

You could use it to buy the seven books you need for your literature class, or you could just buy an account on Netflix so that you can just watch the movie versions instead. If you already have an account or you just stream movies from one of the bazillion movie sites online then you can just buy snacks! Who doesn’t like some popcorn while they are watching a good movie?

Maybe you should get a lab coat and goggles for that chemistry lab that you have. But if you are thinking about buying a lab coat, you might as well get a nice pair of shoes to match…and a watch… and a new pair of sun glasses, some new shirts, those nice jeans you saw at the mall the other day, hell, you might as well redo your whole closet!

Instead of getting that scientific calculator, you should just get a new phone. That has a calculator on it… and it also has great picture quality, plays music, and you can even receive visual voicemail. It’s multifunctional… it’s totes useful. And if you are going to get a phone, you might as well get a new laptop, Ipad, and TV for your room.

And how are you going to get to class? Yeah, I know your tuition fees include access to all busses, but like… you should probably just get a brand new scooter instead. On second thought, maybe a motorcycle would be better. How else do you expect to get to class on time!

And of course, for being a good student and getting all of the things that you need to thoroughly succeed in your classes, you should reward yourself by buying a ticket to Disney or something! 

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