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Friday, December 01, 2023

“Dirty Mike” cleared his throat and then grunted into the microphone. 

“The word ‘clitoris’ comes from the greek word meaning…”

“Not real!” shouted Gainesville resident F. Mark Covert, 37, from the back of the bar. 

Covert and his friends sat around a small table at Dirty Bar on Northwest 43rd Street Wednesday night, arguing over answers to Kinky Quizzo, the bar’s weekly adult trivia game. 

They were the “Prison Sex Perverts,” up against such daring competitors as “The couch pulls out, but we don’t” and “My grandma can’t wrestle, but you should see her box.” 

After three rounds of 10 questions on strange animal sex habits, X-rated films and euphemistic expressions, Covert’s team finished second, beating about eight other teams. 

Hidden behind The Flying Biscuit Cafe and The Fresh Market in the Thornebrook Village Shopping Center, Dirty Bar is home to post-college locals and few undergraduate students. 

It is the only bar in Gainesville that hosts Kinky Quizzo, a prepackaged adult trivia game that supplies the questions, answers and prizes to participating bars. Twelve bars around the U.S. host the game, according to Kinky Quizzo’s website, including Cities Bar in Crystal River, Florida.

“It wasn’t what I expected,” said 20-year-old UF chemistry junior Alaina Giacobbe, a last-minute member of the Prison Sex Perverts. 

Giacobbe said she walked away empty-handed, letting her team members keep the vibrator, body paint and a 30-minute subscription to they won. 

Kinky Prizes

“I let them have them,” she said of her mid-30s teammates. “They needed them more.”

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Giacobbe said the trivia questions were not nearly as explicit as the table conversation. 

“We went around and told our most embarrassing sex stories,” she said.

Covert accidently broke his high school girlfriend’s nose during an especially claustrophobic bout in his car, he said. 

On another occasion, he watched an argument lead to his TV smashing to the ground as barbecue chicken wings flew at his face amidst screaming accusations of infidelity.

“I wasn’t cheating,” he said. 

Dirty Bar’s mumbling emcee revealed the answers at the end of each round. 

No, dinosaurs have not been found to have both sex organs. Yes, male spiders castrate themselves during sex to increase sperm transfer. 

And no, “clitoris” does not mean “not real.” 

It’s real, and it comes from the greek root meaning “climax” or “hill.” 

Giacobbe said although she had a good time, she probably won’t go again.

“But I would definitely say go once,” she said. “It was an experience.”

[A version of this story ran on page 5 on 5/27/2014 under the headline "Local bar offers risque trivia, sex toys as prizes"]

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