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Thursday, April 25, 2024

On this righteous day, we celebrate the brave souls who made the American dream a reality. This reality was founded on the grounds that justice is needed for all. This is the one day of the year  when we all come together and applaud the fact that people fought to make the land of the brave. As Americans, it is our duty to honor this day the way a true patriot would — we give it our all or we give nothing.

·  Red, white and blue. These should be the only colors you allow yourself to wear on this day. Yes, even your socks and underwear.

·  Beer, burgers and hotdogs should be the only food you consume. All of this food should be made on a grill by a guy or gal in an American flag apron.

· If football is not included in some part of your day, you’ve done it wrong. A good Fourth of July always involves shirtless men in a green field throwing a football — give or take the six packs.

·  Go to as many pool parties and barbecues as humanly possible. After all, it is the American duty to bestow equality.

·  Go to a fireworks show. If you really want to present the true American way, create your own fireworks show.

·  If it rains, do not back out. You’re an American!

·  At one point in your day, you must listen to the national anthem. 

This will probably be an involuntary ation, 

but you must sing it proud and dreadfully loud.

·  Strangers are no longer strangers on this day; they are your fellow Americans. Nothing beats a party full of people who bleed red, white and blue.

So there you have it, folks. Make sure that come Saturday, you are honoring the fearless men and women who fought to make this beautiful country the way it is today. Be safe, have fun, and most importantly, God bless America!

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