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Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Hear ye, hear ye, dear readers. We’re already nearing the end of our second week this semester. How does time pass so quickly? Are we to learn that the Earth is rotating on its axis at faster rates? Is the very fabric of spacetime in jeopardy as the possibility of a Mein Drumpf presidency becomes evermore plausible? No matter: We invite you to take solace and pleasure in our latest segment of…

Darts & Laurels

Let’s get right down to business: “Captain America: Civil War.” If you haven’t seen the movie yet, stop living in the real world and being “productive,” and let your imagination run wild for a few hours. Civil War is a true roller coaster; it embodies everything you could want from a Marvel Studios superhero-action film. However, the plot of the film is really not befitting of the title “civil war.”

Despite the marketing emphasis on #TeamIronMan versus #TeamCap, the movie felt more like a follow-up of the Avengers and “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” storylines. Even in the climactic airport brawl scene the trailers highlighted, most of the heroes were barely engaged in the fight. Heroes here were saying “We’re still friends right?” Heroes over there were apologizing after giving each other a few boo-boos.

Don’t get us wrong: This movie was fantastic. Just don’t expect a true war between these fighters, which is why we give a dart to the second half of the movie’s title. One more accurate would be “Captain America: Civil Dispute,” or perhaps, “Captain America: Mom and Dad Argue Over Thanksgiving Dinner.”

On the upside, we give a shining laurel to Spider-Man and Black Panther. From Panther’s vendetta that wove in and out of the Avengers’ conflict toSpidey’s laughable childishness amidst the tensions between Iron Man and Cap, these B-side characters completely stole the show. For those who may feel disheartened with the direction of the Avengers films, these two new characters show a lot of promise.

On a non-superhero note, we want to give a laurel to comedianLarry Wilmore and President Barack Obama for their epic performances at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Obama and Wilmore gave a number of roasts and jokes on a wide range of issues, including head media figures seated in the very same room.

Wilmore’s remarks were so hot, such as his reference to CNN’s Don Lemon as “alleged journalist Don Lemon,” he’s now resurfaced in the media, even two-and-a-half weeks after the dinner. According to a recent Mediaite report, Lemon had personally invited Wilmore to appear on air with him on May 4 to discuss Wilmore’s final words to Obama, “Yo Barry, you did it, my n—gga,” and general politics.

However, a CNN producer supposedly canceled Wilmore’s appearance in order to provide more coverage of the May 3 Indiana primaries. Perhaps CNN really did need to prioritize more Donald Tru — uh, election — coverage. Or maybe CNN didn’t want a repeat of when former “The Daily Show” host Jon Stewart appeared on CNN’s “Crossfire” in 2004 and called CNN out for “hurting America” by being “partisan hacks” right to their faces.

Regardless, we give a laurel to Lemon for being a good sport and to Wilmore, again, for reinserting some healthy doses of harsh satire and a bit of truth into our political discourse, even if the media didn’t really pick up on it.

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