Last year I moved into an apartment with three of my close friends: Jessica, Lizzy and Mara (all pseudonyms). I fell in love with Mara at the beginning of the Spring of my sophomore year.
I met Mara a year prior, on the first night of our freshman Fall semester. Mara was Lizzy’s roommate.
Lizzy and I had been close friends in high school. We both wrote for the school paper, and we had a yearly tradition of seeing movies together on Christmas Day, because we’re both Jewish. When Lizzy and I decided to attend the same university, we were excited to continue our friendship.
On the first night of the Fall semester, Lizzy, Mara and I were hanging out in their dorm. This was the first time Mara and I had ever met. I looked through her records and soon verbally expressed distaste.
“Vampire Weekend? Dude, Vampire Weekend sucks!” I said while gripping her copy of the band’s sophomore release, “Contra.”
Nate, a boy who lived on Lizzy’s floor, soon came over. He was lanky with stringy brown hair and thick black glasses. He sat next to Lizzy on her bed and looked at her starry-eyed. It seemed to me like they were hitting it off and I would be stuck with Mara all night.
I’d like to say I had a good reason for my lack of interest in Mara, but I didn’t. I was shallow and immature. I had heightened my expectations of the type of girls I’d meet in college. I thought upon enrollment I’d immediately run into the manic pixie girl of my dreams, someone who fit an unrealistically specific set of superficial criteria: extremely petite with short dark hair, piercings and Dr. Martens. I wanted a cigarette-smoker, a fan of horror films and a hardcore punk. Mara wasn’t that. She was a little chubby, listened to Vampire Weekend, wore heels and liked romantic comedies. I resented her for that.
I drove the four of us to Chipotle, and I sparked a joint in the car after I parked. The four of us got high and ate cheap Mexican food together, but I didn’t say much to Mara for the rest of the night.
After a few months, we got to be friends. As Lizzy and I continued to hang out, I saw more and more of Mara. We drank together at parties, went to see movies with Lizzy and Nate and sat next to each other in Spanish class during our freshman Spring semester. I wasn’t into her romantically, but I considered her a friend.
The end of freshman year rolled around, and Mara and Lizzy were moving into an apartment with Mara’s high-school friend Jessica. They needed a fourth roommate. I needed a place to live. By Fall of our sophomore year, we were all officially roommates.
Things were great. We wasted away our days getting stoned on the couch and watching Food Network.
This is part one of a two-part column. Pick up next Wednesday’s issue to find out how I came to fall in love with Mara, how living with her affected my mental health and what our relationship is like today. Is it possible to have a platonic relationship with a roommate you’ve been in love with? We’ll see.
Jeremy Haas is a UF English junior. His column appears on Wednesdays.
