Kelly Rae Finley doesn’t believe in balance.
To her, balance implies that something must be divided equally — coaching on one side and motherhood on the other. However, since giving birth to her son, Laken, last spring, the Florida women’s basketball head coach has learned that life is less of a scale than a series of choices.
“I don’t know if there’s such thing as balance,” Finley said. “I think you hear a lot of people talk about that, [I] might be one of the few people that I don’t think balance truly exists. I think there’s a lot of sacrifice that’s involved, but it’s sacrifice that’s well worth it.”
Finley sees motherhood and coaching not as competing, but as parallel forms of teaching, dedication, patience and discipline. That’s shown in Florida’s start this season. Currently, the Gators are 9-2 and have won by an average margin of 26 points.
Last season, Finley coached while pregnant through SEC play, traveling across the nation and leading the Gators to the semifinals of the Women’s Basketball Invitational (WBIT), the program’s first postseason semifinal since 2013.
Hours before the Indianapolis semifinal tipoff on March 31, she gave birth at 5:30 a.m., while her Gators’ run ended one win short of the final.
“I really selfishly wanted to go to Indianapolis, but looking back now, I’m grateful that I made the decision to stay home,” Finley said.
Even with swollen ankles and a visible baby bump down the stretch, Finley said she was mostly in “coaching mode” on the hardwood. The fatigue, she admitted, didn’t register until weeks later, which allowed her to lock in on each and every moment.
Now, as a new mother, her daily tasks look different, but she embraces the challenges. With the support of her fiancé, Shawn, along with her mom and sister in Gainesville, she feels just as able to lead UF’s program. Even her son’s name reflects those ties — His middle name, Brooks, is for her sister Brooke, while “Laken” honors Shawn’s background as a waterman and lifeguard on the north shore of Hawaii and Finley’s Minnesota roots, the Land of 10,000 Lakes.
For Finley, the idea of balance does not fully capture the realities of her life. Coaching, she said, isn’t a job or a traditional career — it’s a lifestyle that demands total buy-in from everyone in a coach’s orbit. She said the profession requires a support system that understands the mission.
That’s why she believes raising Laken while leading the Gators doesn’t feel like a compromise; instead, it feels like an advantage. He is growing up surrounded by those who mirror the values Finley wants him to learn.
“I think to have the opportunity to raise our son around highly successful, competitive, strong women is only going to make him better in life, in every way,” Finley said. “And I think that learning how to be a great teammate is something that is not often taught anymore, and the exposure that he’s going to have to this environment at a high level is really, really special.”
Additionally, motherhood hasn’t changed Finley’s coaching standards, but it has solidified her “why.” While Finley is determined to win a championship at Florida, she also views sports as an avenue to shape, educate and empower young women.
Her patience, she said, has always been integrated into her leadership. Growing up with a sister who has special needs has shaped her approach to teaching and communication, instilling in her to seek understanding first.
“There are two reasons you don’t do something — either you’re being defiant, or you don’t understand,” Finley said. “And so as a coach, it’s important that you seek to understand.”
She is not sure whether motherhood will increase her patience or if coaching will make her a better parent, but she sees the connection. She wants him to learn that understanding what drives certain behaviors and adapting to help someone grow are essential to being a good person and teammate.
Finley’s coaching roots
Finley wasn’t always set on coaching. The daughter of Minnesota high school coach Ray Finley finished her basketball career at Colorado State in 2008, unsure she wanted the profession after a rocky playing experience.
Still, Finley began her coaching career at Harvard (2009-12), followed by stints at Colorado (2012-16) and Arizona (2016-17).
At Florida, she first served as an assistant coach from 2017-19 and associate head coach in 2019 before taking the helm as head coach in February 2022.
In just her first year as head coach, she led the Gators to a historic 2021-22 campaign, where the team went 21-11, marking the first 20-win season since 2015-16. Under her leadership, Florida also defeated five nationally ranked opponents for the first time since 2005-06, earning her a USA Today Sports Network SEC Coach of the Year honor and a semifinalist nod for the Naismith Coach of the Year award.
Beyond the stats, Finley’s impact is deeply felt in the culture she cultivates at Florida, both from her players and staff.
Jasmine Sborov, now in her second year as an assistant coach for Florida, said Finley was her motivation to coach. Sborov, a former guard for Colorado, played under Finley beginning in her sophomore year, when she was a position coach, and then followed her into the profession.
Sborov graduated from Colorado and then coached at Harvard for seven years alongside Finley. Four years later, Sborov received a call from Finley to join her Gator squad.
“What she was for me when I was in college was extremely impactful as a player, as a leader, as a human,” Sborov said. “And I wanted to be that for somebody else.”
She describes Finley’s leadership as deeply compassionate and said what makes Finley unique is how she cares for the people around her. The environment Finley has built within Florida is “people first,” a tight-knit family that looks out for one another.
When Finley told Sborov she was pregnant, Sborov said it was a hard secret to keep, but one that brought immense joy.
“She’s always wanted to be a mom, and she’s always coached, kind of like, in a motherly way toward the kids,” Sborov said.
Watching Finley coach through the physical demands of her pregnancy deepened Sborov’s admiration, calling her a “superhuman.”
When Finley missed the WBIT semifinal to deliver Laken, the staff stepped up and took advantage of the moment, despite missing their “rock.” They redistributed responsibilities and relied on the system Finley created to keep their team prepared for the match.
To Sborov, the most meaningful part of watching Finley become a mother has been witnessing the same depth of care she shows her players extend to her son.
“The way that she loves these players so deep, it’s like, ‘Man, what a lucky guy her son is,’” Sborov said. “Because her heart is so big, and the way that she’s able to share that with so many people is really amazing.”
Junior guard Laila Reynolds said Finley’s leadership has always been rooted in inspiration and connection.
Reynolds remembers the team’s reaction when Finley revealed her pregnancy by handing an envelope in the weight room.
“I was like, ‘Dang, she’s about to be a mom,’” Reynolds said. “Everybody was excited … Some people were shocked, I was definitely shocked.”
Still, Reynolds said Finley didn’t change as a coach while pregnant or after giving birth. Finley has always led with a calm, caring presence. Motherhood seemed to align with who she already was.
Finley’s relationship with her players also stretches far beyond basketball, Reynolds said. Last year, Finley taught Reynolds how to drive.
“She threw me in the front seat of her car and was like, ‘Drive,’ basically,” Reynolds said.
She added that this kind of personal investment is what makes Florida’s program so special and the reason why people want to come to play for Finley.
Finley’s influence also extends farther than Gainesville. Assistant coach Sborov said her path is empowering for women who want to stay in the field while starting a family.
Reynolds has felt that impact in her own development, too. She said Finley has taught her how to be confident, lead by hard work and trust her instincts.
Finley believes the industry is slowly evolving, with more support for women who want to pursue both a family and a career. She hopes that when players see her, they are inspired by the journey and know they can do anything they put their mind to.
“I hope they [her players] know they can do anything,” Finley said. “I hope they know that whatever their dreams are in life, they should chase them with their whole heart, and they’re going to be successful … And I hope that when they see me, they see strength, they see composure, and they see love.”
Contact Amanda Roman at aroman@alligator.org. Follow her on X @mandy_romannn
Amanda is The Alligator's Assistant Sports Editor and a senior sports journalism student. She previously worked as the soccer and women's basketball reporter. She also interned at Fort Lauderdale United FC. In her free time, she enjoys weight lifting, shopping and reading.
