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Sunday, April 26, 2026

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Florida Alligator
The Avenue

The fictitious timeline of Labor Day

1882: Gender-neutral historical figure Toni Labor sought to free the American worker from the shackles of the American work-week that, at its inception, continued for 365 days in a row. Tasks included, but were not limited to, beating rocks together and collecting goat and human sacrifices as offerings to the evil dragon who oversaw production atop Mt. Drudgery. Americans refered to the dragon as “Grover.” Toni Labor succeeded in slaying the dragon with a cardboard sign that read: “Seriously Grover, my feet are killing me,” and Americans celebrated by cooking the dragon over a fire. The Labor Day barbeque tradition was born.


Florida Alligator
Metro

Nonprofit organization will turn empty lot into garden

St. Francis House, a shelter and soup kitchen, is raising money to transform the lot into a community garden to grow one ton of produce. The Florida Certified Organic Growers and Consumers Inc. intends to plant 10 55-foot rows of produce in the privately owned lot, said Travis Mitchell, a coordinator for the nonprofit’s food projects.


A larger-than-life-size puppet bearing Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s likeness is marched through the streets of Ybor City in Tampa, Fla., on Tuesday.
News

Student media get rare opportunities at convention

UF students joined thousands of media members in Tampa this week to report on protests and Mitt Romney’s official nomination as the Republican presidential candidate. The students sacrificed their classes to be errand-runners for the press world’s elite.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Rain boots: misandry for feet

I would like to address a gender inequality that has vexed me greatly the past two weeks. Both Tropical Storm Isaac and the general rainy nature of Florida have characterized the beginning of classes by a stoic low-energy conflict with nature.


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