You’ll be waiting a little longer for your already-making-you-late-for-class-with-a-line-stretching-to-Quiznos $6.87 skinny, double-shot, extra-hot, no-foam, in-a-reusable-cup-please, sugar-free-syrup, soy Mochachinofrappelatte.
When weighing a quasi-important, ecologically destructive decision in the aftermath of the nation’s largest environmental catastrophe, apparently six months is plenty.
In a marketing move some are calling greasy, unhealthy and hideous, not much unlike the criticisms of its artery-clogging sandwich laden with 32 grams of fat, KFC is paying (supposedly) good-looking girls at a handful of colleges across the nation to promote its death-defying sandwich with the words “Double Down” on the buns of specially-designed sweatpants.
It is no longer a casual concern for a few individuals to get riled up about with megaphones and handmade signs, chanting phrases we’re all tired of hearing.
Is it just us or is it the time of the year when everything just seems to become a race to the finish? It’s the time of the year when professors forget we have more than one class, and it feels like we’re taking 27 credits instead of a measly 12. It’s the time of the year when we can almost feel the winter holidays, and we start thinking about making those ring chains where we tear a ring off every day as we get closer to the finish (winter break).
An unpopular Kansas “church” reminiscent of our very own Dove wants you to know God is your enemy.
Shamu is shaking his head.
Justice was swift, but Allah is still great.
Just about a year and a half after Frito-Lay introduced its earmuff-almost-necessary-to-open-it biodegradable SunChips bag, the junk food giant is sending the bags to the dump and reintroducing the totally-not-sustainable old version while the company tries to find a bag that’s quietly biodegradable.
Americans are having a lot of sex.
Sixth Amendment, Schmixth Amendment!
In a study that might not shock many, the majority of Americans apparently know very little about what they preach.
Is our generation defining Facebook, or is it defining us?
Was it Green Day who said “wake me up when September ends”?
In Erin Brockovich style, Gainesville city commissioners and Alachua County commissioners have fighting words for the Environmental Protection Agency: We’re sick of this.
The newborns are coming.
We’ve been brainwashed ever since we set up our free market lemonade stands on the sidewalk, charging parched passersby an excess of a quarter for a cup of juice.
As Catholics across the globe hold hands and sigh in relief that the latest male-molesting mishap wasn’t one of their own, Christians are again left with an unfortunately misrepresented image of their religious leaders and their questionable habits.
Alanis Morissette is smiling somewhere.
Since we last left you, the gems of our Gator Nation, we were enjoying the last bit of the summer season we still had left.
Solutions by The State News
