Get excited, people – the end of the semester is on the horizon. But beware because there’s something else lurking on the surface of the calm waters. And that something has taken the form of an exams-project-and-paper iceberg that will take that optimistic steamboat of yours down if you’re not careful.
Going against the tradition of bringing in intellectual “heavy hitters” such as Meghan McCain, Andy Samberg and the ever-esteemed, generic “Real World” cast member, our beloved high council of white sepulchres at Accent were able to lure religion experts Dinesh D’Souza and Christopher Hitchens to campus Tuesday night.
We hate to keep writing about the ridiculous antics of the Tea Party because it makes us worried that any discussion of them will give them more power. That said, we thought about it but decided that shining a light on all of their insane behaviors is better than being afraid to talk about them.
Even with all the responsibilities on their plates, Florida teachers need to keep on their toes with Senate Bill 6 hovering over their heads.
What is the deal with 3-D?
First it was the hippies and communist professors who were corrupting our children’s minds with radical concepts such as gravity and the letter “Q.” Then it was those damn femi-Nazis who wanted to turn our prom queens into jezebels who choke down birth control pills like Skittles.
We knew people would be fighting against the health care changes, but somehow people always manage to surprise us with exactly how far they will go, planting their feet and digging their nails into the wall if they have to, in order to resist change.
Just when you thought it was safe to cross the Turlington minefield, another socially aimless specimen is trying to rise from the graveyard of “who gives a crap?”
As thousands travel home to see their families, jam chocolate eggs and marshmallow chickadees down their gullets at a pre-diet-Oprah-like pace and put on their best “Christ-y” faces, we present a special sugar-coated, Jesus-juiced Good Friday edition of Darts & Laurels.
The fourth film in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise certainly caused a cheer from half of us and a groan from the other half, but it’s very likely that we will all see it.
For a city that prides itself in being environmentally friendly, Gainesville is about to get a heap of garbage dumped on it — hate-spewing, bigoted, “Christ-loving” garbage.
If you could ask Secretary of Education Arne Duncan anything you wanted, what would it be? Would it be about the value of your degree when you graduate?
We’re always surprised at the new levels of hypocrisy some people reach, and the recently proposed Florida House of Representatives Bill 315 is no exception.
Our favorite She-Bangin’ singer will most definitely not be banging any more “shes.”
We understand Republicans are super pissed that whole historic social welfare, insurance-for-the-poor bill passed last week, and why shouldn’t they be? Who cares about the mere 32 million Americans who will now be able to afford crazy things like hospital visits and life-saving medication?
First, it was the disturbingly homophobic fliers accusing Gainesville mayoral candidate Craig Lowe of being “responsible for legally allowing men in women’s restrooms.”
In the old days, grabbing a fistful of altar boy would get you a cop car ride, a trial and a new girlfriend named LaDarius.
We’re not sure about you, but it’s been quite an eventful week here at the Alligator.
We cannot even begin to imagine why anyone would still want to listen to Ann Coulter.
Students don’t need another reason to feel bad for lurking on Facebook, but UK officials just added one more to the growing list.
Solutions by The State News
