I was cutting myself shaving this morning when I wondered, "Why isn't crazy facial hair popular anymore?" It certainly looks better than a face full of bandages.
I encourage my fellow readers to avoid fallacious attacks on the Alligator and to stop implying a false political dichotomy when it is perfectly possible to be moderate in reporting.
Who said the economy is crushing the housing market? Fannie Mae who?
Nobody expects Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, Sen. John McCain's comically incompetent running mate, to put up a fight against Sen. Joe Biden at this Thursday's vice presidential debate - unless it happens to involve blue lines and slap shots. As this crucial milestone approaches, I would like to remind those hoping for an Obama victory, including the charming yet tempestuous Sen. Biden, to tread carefully.
More than a month after the dust from the Beijing Olympics has settled, we have been alerted to a refreshing ending to one of the Games' most controversial issues.
All right, I've had enough with the "Barackin' the Vote" and "McLeading the Polls."
For students annoyed by the registration volunteers, there is a solution that will prevent them from coming anywhere near you - wear a McCain/Palin shirt.
I would like to thank the Alligator for its constant liberal bias. Being an avid supporter of infanticide and having a general distaste for racial equality or national security, I am, of course, a big-time Obama supporter.
In response to Wes Hunt's column, "Ignorant electorate bound for failure," I must say I agree that young people should vote, but it is unwise to declare that citizens older than 50 are just "the old" and have "no stake in the future of the nation beyond the next two to three, maybe four presidents."
In response to Casey Peterson's letter, "Political volunteers pester the masses," I ask if Casey has, in fact, registered to vote in Alachua County. If not, his fellow politically minded friends may want to encourage him.
From middle school class president races to the race to become the United States' head honcho, all campaigns require financing.
No one should call for change without outlining an alternative, which is why I thought it was worth spending an additional column to detail an alternative to the current Student Government electoral process.
Yes, I am one of those people pestering you as you walk to class. And yes, I see the look on your face as I approach you - it translates roughly to, "Not again! Why won't you leave me alone?" - excluding profanities, of course.
I bet Jevan Snead's 86-yard touchdown pass to Shay Hodge made you queasy. I can't blame you. That was Major Wright's one-way ticket to a SportsCenter highlight - and not the good kind.
As a recent alumna coming back to UF to tailgate, I was caught off guard by a new campus rule. While playing beer pong with friends, we were accosted by two members of the University Police Department who said we had to break up the game immediately, wrote down all our names, took our pictures and said if we were caught again they could arrest us for trespassing.
Many of you may be preparing to skip the first election in which you are eligible to vote. Congratulations, it's quite the milestone in your life of civic irresponsibility. May I suggest a way to celebrate this momentous occasion? Turn on CNN on election night, and every time Wolf Blitzer or one of his minions says the phrase "best political team on television," take a drink. You'll be plastered, hungover and sober again well before anyone knows who won Florida.
With the McBama undercard bout out of the way, we can settle into our beer-stained, fifth-hand couches with a pint and a bowl of Cheetos to plunge ourselves into Thursday's vice presidential debate. We think it's going to be a barn burner.
As I sat and watched Tim Tebow speak, his eyes bloodshot and his lips quivering in Saturday's postgame press conference, I thought this would likely be the defining moment of his defining season.
The annual Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity philanthropy event, the Watermelon Bust, is a disgrace to those who are involved in service activities in their community, and it's disgusting to see it mentioned in this paper.
Unlike Michelle Isgut, I am not a Gator Party senator, but I am an environmentalist and, until last year, I was an undergraduate at UF. Her shots at the Orange and Blue Party for its environmental agenda are unfair.
Solutions by The State News
