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Thursday, July 03, 2025

The Avenue | Lifestyle

THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

Four Horsemen? No, the Four Loko is the apocalypse

Civilizations rise and fall, such is the cycle of human history. There are many things attributing to the downfall of a civilization, such as disease, wars or societal collapse. However, I realized recently that there will be only one thing to bring down modern Western civilization. Dear readers, I have seen the harbinger of the end of time, and it exists among us in startling quantity. Of course, I refer to Four Loko.


Florida Alligator
THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

Bootsington T. Cat: A column of reverence befit for a feline king

Rarely is a man so great that even the legends written about him fail to truly capture the magnificence of his existence. This is one of those situations. This is an especially unique case, however, because the great man I am writing about is not a man. Readers, put on your monocles and be seated in your favorite fireside chair, for I shall chronicle the life and times of my cat, Boots.


Florida Alligator
THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

Games you may have missed: ‘Alan Wake’ for Xbox 360

In a quarter swarming with high-profile sequels like “Red Dead Redemption” and “Super Mario Galaxy 2”, it may have been easy to overlook an original game for something flashy, familiar and safe.
To overlook “Alan Wake,” however, is a fool’s mistake that should be rectified immediately.


THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

Roller Rebels recruiting session promotes camaraderie

By day, Adrienne Filardo, 22, works as a grant assistant in the UF Department of Neurosurgery. On a typical day of work, she wears a cardigan, skirt and pantyhose – looking “as June Cleaver as possible,” she said. But three nights a week, donning fishnet stockings, short shorts and a thick layer of purple eye shadow, she is Rage-rienne, the roller derby girl, acting as a blocker for her team, the Gainesville Roller Rebels.


Florida Alligator
THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

Dave Johnson’s parents sell house, he gets existential

I knew this was coming for years. My parents decided to sell the house so they could live closer to the water and their boat (I don’t blame them. Who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to drink and fish all day with minimal planning and effort?). Once I realized this, every time I came home I acted like it could potentially be the last time I see my house or my hometown of Miami.


Florida Alligator
THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

Road trips test manhood

If there is one great American rite of passage, it is the road trip. Haphazardly shoving people and belongings into a car and debauching ourselves across state lines is about as American as apple pie baked by underpaid immigrant laborers.


Florida Alligator
THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

Dave’s ideal Fourth of July extravaganza

The Fourth of July. It’s possibly the greatest holiday that has ever existed. Some guys signed a piece of paper that brought the United States of America into existence, and more than two centuries later we commemorate that day in the most American way: grilling, getting belligerently drunk and watching things explode. I love July Fourth because I’m a big fan of America. It’s pretty much the best country I’ve ever lived in.


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