All throughout grade school, your teachers feed you all of this crap about stuff is so important and how you just absolutely will not be able to function if you do not grasp a concept, or always do that, or get that grade on this. As a young and impressionable child, you do it, thinking “Oh golly gee. I better listen to my teacher, they would never lie to me.” However, not too much time passes before you realize… “They lied!’
1. You HAVE to learn cursive once you get to middle/high school.
Usually it starts in elementary… by the time you are in 5th grade you teachers start saying stuff like, “Neat handing is very good, but you will not make it far in middle school if you do not learn cursive”. So you try and try but hey, you are in 5th grade and your cursive looks like chicken scratches. Once you get to 8th grade, you teachers stop being nice and they bluntly just say, “You will never ever pass high school if you don’t learn cursive”. Evidently, everyone only uses cursive in highschoolland. It was a lie when I was in 5th grade and if they are still trying to sell that, it is a lie now.
2. You can’t use a calculator whenever you want to.
Before your quizzes and tests, you raise your hand and ask you teacher if you can use a calculator and they practically verbally abuse you, saying that once you get out into the real world you will not just be able to just pull out a calculator and use it whenever you want. They say that you are going to have to be able to do anything and everything from your head and that is final. LIE ALERT. Once you get to college practically everything is done on a laptop and besides there not only being a calculator on your lap, there is… I don’t know… everything that you would have ever asked ever about anything. Ask just about anyone what is the answer to 6+8, bet you they Google it.
3. It really really matters what you got on your SAT/ACT.
Your high school teachers bust your balls telling you how important it is to get a high score on your ACT/SAT. You stress and stress over it, pay for books and tutors and take practice tests trying to make sure that you get a perfect score. Lo and behold, once you get into the college of your choice, not one person cares about what you got on that test. Hell, half the people I know who got into college didn’t even do well on those tests, but they had great extracurriculars and volunteer hours to make up for it, and they probably just kissed ass to some chill teacher who gave them a bunch of freebie hours so even those were lies too!
4. Wikipedia is a bad source.
I will have you know that Wikipedia is a fantastic source that has never steered me wrong. The Congress or School Board or something should just go ahead and credit Wikipedia as an online school because without Wikipedia, thousands of people everywhere would not have gotten as far in life as they have been able to. Countless homework assignments, online tests, projects, and probably even dissertations have Wikipedia to thank for their success.
Once you realized that so much of what you were scowled at in grade school was BS, you probably want to go back in time and punch you teacher in the face. However, all they would tell you is to keep you hands, feet and other objects to yourself.
