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Friday, April 26, 2024

One call from God brought him here, and another will take him away.

Joey Johnsen, also known as "The Turlington Preacher," leaves his UF congregation this weekend for a new one in South Korea.

Since we're heathens with a penchant for promiscuity and skimpy clothing, Johnsen's brand of Christianity doesn't quite appeal to us. But nonetheless, he was pretty nice in his preaching.

And you know what they say: The devil you know beats the devil you don't.

We're certain a brand-spanking-new campus preacher will descend upon UF within a matter of days. And we wouldn't be surprised if he's louder, more confrontational and more condemning. You know, like that preacher who carries that huge sign that says gay people/scantily clad girls/drinkers/everyone is going to hell.

Johnsen is, except for the whole preaching-to-a-college-crowd thing, just a normal guy. He wants to get married and have kids. He wants to further his career - and he's got some great benefits.

He's lucky his career will allow him to see the world. Despite having little money or power, he seems very happy. And he even found love.

Maybe we should look into this preaching thing.

At least we don't have it as bad as Florida State University. At every home football game there, preachers stand outside the stadium yelling at children playing on the grass, tailgaters, girls wearing shorts and even the marching band. But really, they should be praying for the Seminoles football team. Maybe then they'd have a fighting chance. Of course, though, God is a Gators fan - how else would you explain that the sun is orange and sky is blue?

We'd say raise your glass to Johnsen tonight, but he probably wouldn't like that too much. So we'll just wish him good luck in his travels and teachings - and God bless.

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