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Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Oh, what a week. We hope you're finally done with all your awful midterms, papers and the other stuff that's been keeping you from going out and having a good time. So take this weekend to sit back and have a few (or more than a few; we won't judge) drinks. Go on. You deserve it. Just make sure you're sober enough to read this week's intoxicating edition of…

Darts & Laurels

We start off with an it's-all-fun-and-games-until-the-keg-is-dry DART to all the protesters who were outraged after the Andrew Meyer Taser incident last month but didn't show up at the forum held to address exactly that. We can't imagine why those students had such a change of heart.

Maybe the protesters realized they really didn't have much to say. Maybe they just protested for the attention but couldn't be bothered to attend a more structured event - one where people were actually there to take into account how everyone felt about the event. Everyone can protest until they're blue in the face, but no one can expect it to be the be-all and end-all of effecting change. And no one can expect everything to happen in the heat of the moment. The number of attendees at the policy forum undoubtedly spoke louder than all the so-called free-speech protesters.

Up next, we raise our tallboys for a finally-a-cause-we-can-drink-for LAUREL for the Booze for Boobs fundraiser held to benefit the Susan G. Komen for the Cure organization. Hell, if we're gonna get drunk, it might as well be for a good reason, right? Then you can actually say, "Man, this hangover was worth it."

Sure, drinking isn't good for our livers, but it is also a factor contributing to breast cancer. Sad, we know, but that won't stop us from giving a sweeter-words-were-never-spoken LAUREL to Saturday's Greater Gator Beer Festival, which will feature beers from around the world, as well as tons of food. Not like we need an excuse to get drunk, but all we can drink for ,20? We're there. There's no better - or more economical - way to try all those beers you were too afraid to buy because they were costly and you weren't sure if you'd like them. Oh, who are we kidding? We never met a beer we didn't like.

Just be sure if you go to arrange for a designated driver. Or take advantage of the LAUREL-worthy tow-and-go services offered by Ultimate Towing and Burkhardt Sales and Service (a Budweiser distributor), free of charge for anyone who's had too much to drink to drive - that means you.

Here we have a this-strawberry-daiquiri-was-made-with-locally-grown-fruit-thank-you-very-much LAUREL for the Union Street Farmers' Market, which debuted this week in its new, larger location. The market will now be held at the Downtown Community Plaza. With more space, the market can accommodate more vendors and hopefully more bands.

We think the move was a wise one. With the weather cooling down, this will be a great place for students and everyone to go buy some fresh veggies and take in a few songs before heading out for a night on the town. Who knew downtown was more than just the restaurants and bars?

Finally, we have a you-can't-have-your-beer-and-drink-it-too DART for the Florida Lottery System. UF's appropriations from the lotto went down by more than ,20 million this year. The program was created to supplement Florida's education system, including Bright Futures and all levels of Florida's public schools.

But the share of the lotto going toward education - the whole reason we have the lotto - has gone down, while the prizes keep getting bigger. Ticket sales are dwindling. Meanwhile, Bright Futures is crumbling and students are being forced to pay fees and tuition not covered by the scholarship that was designed just for that. It's a safe bet that the lotto system isn't working how it was designed to.

All this is making us thirsty for another drink.

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