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Tuesday, June 25, 2024

The bats living near Lake Alice seemed a little more erratic this week, didn't they? The winds rustling the leaves of trees were a little bit creepier. And the moon is full tonight - don't be surprised if your hairiest friends go missing. Yes, it's that time of year again: Halloween.

Oh, who are we kidding? This holiday isn't scary. It's the one night when girls can wear nothing but bras and call them "costumes." Hell, it's the one night guys can wear bras and call them "costumes." Of course, it isn't Halloween yet, but there's no doubt in our minds that it will be observed this weekend. So grab a sheet for a makeshift costume - a toga or a ghost, your choice - and enjoy this week's spooky edition of…

Tricks & Treats

First up, it's a that-wasn't-very-honorable TRICK to the Faculty Senate, which wants to strip the Student Honor Court of its ability to hear academic-dishonesty cases. The honor court gives students a chance to have their cases heard by law students, who present the prosecution and defense. The Faculty Senate says it wants more involvement - which we suspect is code for: "We don't like that the Student Honor Court doesn't have any faculty input."

The answer is not to dismantle the honor court, which is essentially what the Senate wants to do. Sure, it may have a few other purposes, but the heart and soul of the honor court lies in its ability to hear students' cases. Providing proctors for professors is its second-most important task.

We were going to give a wow-look-what-a-bunch-of-sorority-women-can-do TREAT to Zeta Tau Alpha Sorority and its philanthropy for raising thousands of dollars for breast cancer research, but we're gonna have to turn that into a wow-look-what-a-bunch-of-sorority-women-can-do TRICK.

The sisters and their dates allegedly wreaked havoc on an iconic Ybor City restaurant earlier this month. News got out, and now the women are scrambling to defend themselves. But the damage has been done - literally.

Greeks always complain that they receive so much negative attention from the editorial board, but it's not because we hate you. It's not because we're jealous.

It's because you make it so easy.

Up next, we have a lean-mean-and-totally-green TREAT for UF and SFCC's celebration of National Campus Sustainability Day. On the UF front, Gators for a Sustainable Campus, the Student Government Environmental Affairs Cabinet and the Office of Sustainability were out in full force. A panel was held regarding a renewable energy fee that 78 percent of students voted in favor of in the spring. UF President Bernie Machen also presented UF's sustainability report card.

SFCC President Jackson Sasser met with Gainesville Mayor Pegeen Hanrahan to discuss the possibility of a mass-transit system to benefit SFCC students. They also discussed how to make SFCC more environmentally friendly.

We think it's great our colleges care so much about making Gainesville a great place to live. This is also a good time in our lives to learn to care about this issue. The rest of the world may be up to its ankles in sea water in 30 years, but we're pretty sure Gainesville will still be sitting pretty, thanks to all its efforts.

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Finally, we give a now-that-fits-like-a-glove TREAT to TheyFit condoms, which allows us to buy condoms in a different range of sizes than the standard 6.3 inches, including ones smaller (sorry, guys), even though UF has no plans to hand out the brand's products. But with all the bells and whistles - er, colors and flavors - and now sizes of condoms, there's no excuse not to use one.

Who knows? Maybe that skimpy costume will work to your favor and you can try one out this weekend.

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