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Thursday, April 25, 2024

Not snakes on a plane. Maxis on a plane.

It’s finally time. Whip out your tanning lotion, piña colata mix and Listerine bottles not filled with Listerine that you’re going to bring on your cruise because it’s spring break.

But here’s the doozy. You’ve got the clothes, you’ve got the bod and now you just have to magically put it all together and bring it to your destination of choice.

Packing is no easy feat. And there’s no way you’re checking that bad boy on the plane because that costs money and if you’re like me you’ve spent all of your money on spring break already.

So here’s my guide to packing for spring break in an easy step-by-step process and by no time you’ll be boarding your plane or cruise like a boss.

1. Plane Clothes (and/or general “getting there” clothes): Yes, an outfit for the way there is actually on my list. Originally, I threatened to embarrass my roommate by wearing wedges on the plane like a total diva. I settled on a maxi dress I purchased from Wolfgang boutique in Gainesville. From personal experience, maxi dresses and skirts are the way to travel. Are you always cold on planes? Voila! A maxi dress to keep you warm. Are you still at that too-pale-it’s-scary stange? Kazam! Maxi dress to the rescue to cover up your pale little leggies. Maxi dresses are the ultimate there and back clothes. You can also look completely horrible in them and people will still think you’re a celebrity.

2. Bathing suits: Spring break is the best in terms of space-saving clothing. (well, unless you’re going skiing). Bathing suits are essentially just extra pairs of underwear. In a total mom-move, I actually stick my bikinis inside of my shoes to save room. Your friends will think your bag is like Hermione’s from Harry Potter as you take out endless swimsuits for your weekend festivities.

3. Cover-ups: I’m just going to say it: Cover-ups are stupid. Whoever invented them should get an award for fooling women everywhere. I always just picture a bunch of guys in a room saying, “How can we get women to wear see-through clothing that is dreadfully expensive?” Thus, the cover-up came to fruition (and such an original name too!) My advice to you is to find one solid cover-up dress, pack it and move on. You can wear a T-shirt and shorts over your bathing suit and the world will still be revolving on its proper rotation.

4. Daytime clothes: Don’t waste too much energy on packing daywear, because if you’re a true spring-breaker you’ll be spending more time in your bathing suit then playing bridge indoors (Disclaimer: I have no idea what people do indoors at a beach resort but I imagine it has something to do with the game of bridge. Or slot machines.) Personally, I am packing two pairs of shorts and three casual daytime tops to get me through spring break.

5. Nighttime clothes: Pack nighttime clothes like your life depends on it. This is your time to shine. There’s only so much you can do with a skimpy bikini. More clothing = more power. Bring a few of your favorite going-out dresses, bandage skirts and slinky tops to show you have a sense of style.

Most of all party your little heart out because it’s spring break! But also, don’t forget to pack underwear.

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