Happy November, y’all. Here’s to hoping your candy hangover — or that other kind of hangover — isn’t painful enough to distract you from the fact that only 17 days of classes stand between you and Thanksgiving Break. Soon it’ll be time to retire those pumpkin spice lattes in favor of the real star: salted caramel mocha (Ed. note: it's true).
As you already know, that short time period between Thanksgiving Break and Winter Break barely exists — it’s a nanosecond-long blur of finals and reading day parties. So hang in there, boys and girls. The finish line to Fall 2013 is in sight.
Although it was yesterday, we’re giving you a special Halloween edition of our Friday editorial. Pour some coffee to go along with your leftover Twix and Butterfingers and enjoy this week’s Tricks & Treats.
Our first TRICK goes to the Jonas Brothers, who prompted both broken hearts and some head-scratching across the nation this week when they announced their split this week. Isn’t that going to make family dinners a bit uncomfortable?
USA Today reported a “deep rift” had formed between the boys. Could it be due to Kevin’s marriage? Joe’s alleged drug addiction? Nick’s abs that just won’t quit? We won’t know until the E! True Hollywood Story that’ll come out in another 15 years — long after they’ve become irrelevant — because Lord knows they won’t merit a VH1 Rock Doc. But we know they’re just being coy, and if you haven’t already, start placing bets on how soon they’ll be getting back together to compile a holiday album.
In other celebrity news, we’re handing off an unlikely TREAT to Miley Cyrus, whose Lil’ Kim 1999 VMAs costume didn’t involve any blackface makeup, unlike Julianne Hough’s controversial “Orange is the New Black”-inspired costume.
Although Cyrus doesn’t quite have Lil’ Kim curves, the tongue-wagging pop star received a thumbs up from the famous rapper herself over Twitter.
“...I wish I was there to squeeze your boob :) :)” Lil’ Kim tweeted. “Love U so much !!!! #mytwin.”
OK, we’re moving on from Halloween news now.
ABC News-Fusion released a report that revealed only 23 percent of Republicans surveyed agreed that “it would be a good thing if more women were elected to Congress,” while others remain indifferent. Democrats clocked in 60 percent — which is still pretty low, to be sure. But come on, Republicans! A TRICK for you. We need more ladies in government — and no, Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin don’t count.
And, finally, it’d be criminal not to hand off a TREAT to the Boston Red Sox for their first-time-in-95-years World Series win at Fenway Park. And if you’re a Red Sox hater, cool your jets: They deserve this moment.
Once again, we’re wishing you a fun and, hopefully, relatively stress-free November.
Have a good weekend!
A version of this editorial ran on page 6 on 11/1/2013 under the headline "Tricks & Treats"