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Sunday, March 22, 2026

Opinion: Columns

Florida Alligator
Opinion

Everything causes cancer - we get it

Being a columnist, I feel it is my duty to provide you - the handful of people other than my parents who actually read this - with the most important news stories of the day. Hold on to your seats because today's topic is: Deadly Air Fresheners.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

RTS drivers should be more punctual

It's big, fat and slow. It's never there for you when you need it. It shows up at the most awkward of times. It's very gassy. It's not your ex-significant other. "It" is the Regional Transit System.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Jean shorts hurt Gators' credibility

There was a great disturbance this weekend. Every Gator felt it, and it showed during the football game on Saturday. The team struggled more than the three previous weeks combined. Urban Meyer will look to the footage, but the real problem is much easier to pinpoint.


Florida Alligator
Sports

Running Tebow wild poses risks

OXFORD, Miss - On Saturday, Tim Tebow picked up the Gators, placed them on his back and carried them to a win against Mississippi six yards at a time.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Virtual worlds have more possibilities

Just when you believed civilization to be crumbling down around yo, confirmed by all of the fighting, hatred and Tasering going on all over the world nowadays, a magnificent technological breakthrough comes along to lift everyone's spirits. The beacon of hope I am referring to is the Virtual Hills.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Online smiley faces are a sign of the times

I know everyone just can't stop talking about their new favorite expression, "Don't Tase me, bro." As much fun as it would be to tackle this obviously worthy issue, or not, I'm sick of it.


Florida Alligator
Opinion

Police correct to use force on student

Andrew Meyer's arrest on Monday has no doubt sparked debate about how much force officers can use. Some believe Tasering him was out of line; others think the punishment fit the crime. But before we pass judgment on anyone, consider this snippet from Florida law:


Florida Alligator
Opinion

There are lessons to be learned from Tasered student

I hope nobody feels sorry for the young man who got Tased. I expect that on campus this week, angry protestors will blame the University Police Department for being too aggressive, or blame Accent for inviting Sen. John Kerry to speak or blame Tennessee for riling us all up.


Florida Alligator
Sports

Kiss nothing new in sports

Sports aficionados praise football for its rough and tumble nature. Players are supposed to act like savage beasts foaming at the mouth.


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