While the mean streets of Gainesville often provide for hilarity in terms of criminal hijinks, the true epicenter of absurdity running rampant resides just a bit down the road.
Hell, you think you're ready for this semester to be over? Just sneak a peek inside the Alligator newsroom, with moving boxes abound - except, of course, for our trusty junk-food drawers (Kit-Kats on the reg) which will remain fully stocked until the Appliance Direct lady sings.
For the typical all-world quarterback, the spoils of gridiron war often include a proverbial "get out of jail free" card - turning college towns across the country into their own personal camps run-amok.
One decade ago today, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold challenged the idyllic ideology of Americana, awakening a generation caught sleepwalking through the throes of life.
After a semester of suburbia-suffering teens pulling pranks on unsuspecting Taco Bell employees to a tree shaped in the likeness of resident demigod Tim "Have you seen his girlfriend?" Tebow, the Department of Darts & Laurels refuses to believe it's time to bid you Freddy Adu.
Poor Stephen Colbert.
In times of economic strife, hunger pangs have more to do with love than an inability to afford daily delivery service from Pita Pit.
Quickly becoming as hipster-chic as a medium green tea fro-yo from Pinkberry, Twitter's emergence on the social networking scene offers users a fresh alternative from the likes of Facebook.
While budget woes at UF have students and faculty up in arms over a murky academic future, the financial situation at Florida State University teeters on the horrific.
For the typical American, Easter Sunday means a rat race of extended church services, marathon meals with relatives and organizing an egg hunt - but hardly landing airplanes.
The most special Easter Sunday of Capt. Richard Phillips' life had nothing to do with the typical holiday fare of oversized chocolate bunnies or a plethora of purple Peeps.
An inherent struggle exists when sitting down to memorialize the life of a semi-famous individual - especially in the wake of tragedy.
After getting up close and personal with chilly weather more akin to Northern New Jersey, the Department of Darts & Laurels assures you sunshine and warmth is here to stay. While North Central Florida's innumerable outdoor activities can be paired better with grain alcohol than late-night falafel and that dude who used to write "White Dade," we urge you to proceed with caution.
Free from the risks of bone-crushing shark bites and devastating sunburns, the latest surfing sensation sweeping the world has less board and more couch.
As UF faces the daunting prospects of massive budget cuts, Alachua County's own financial crisis has ballooned to a projected $12 million deficit.
Starting Sept. 1, the state of Vermont will legally recognize same-sex marriages, thanks to legislative action, rather than a court ruling.
From channeling his inner stoner in "Harold and Kumar" to portraying a doctor on "House," Kal Penn has displayed an ability to play a wide array of different personalities throughout his career.
With final exams and projects looming on the horizon, the Editorial Board would like to take the opportunity to encourage you to consume massive amounts of coffee and don't stop.
News of inflammatory graffiti on the side of a UF fraternity house has the Editorial Board dismayed by such thoughtless actions that only serve to oppress and spread ill will.
Friday's tragic shooting in Binghamton, N.Y., serves as yet another reminder to Americans across the country of the fragility of life.
Solutions by The State News
