The European “explorers” who stumbled upon the Western Cape of South Africa and proceeded to murder the region’s indigenous knew they had found their promised land. After all, why should a land and its resources belong to its native inhabitants?
It was only a matter of time until Trump and Cruz’s wives were dragged into this bizarre, machismo-fueled Republican primary race. In an election campaign seemingly more concerned with how big Trump’s “hands” are than with actual political discourse, no one’s shocked these potential first ladies have been reduced to nothing more than weapons — but that doesn’t make it any less unsettling.
This is a shout-out to the ladies out there, to all of the unexpectedly adorned mothers and regretful soon-to-be baby daddies: We apologize. We apologize on behalf of our state legislature and Gov. Rick Scott, who signed the wide-sweeping anti-abortion bill into law Friday. Now our Sunshine State is on the path to joining other states, such as Texas and Mississippi, with oppressive anti-abortion legislation in circulation or already in place.
We live in a world full of myths. Never mind the tales of full-grown, orphaned men laying waste to our city streets in fighting over who can pull off the better tights-and-cape combo, or the tales of bewildered country leaders decrying man-induced climate change a hoax by bringing a snowball onto the Senate floor during a committee hearing. (Wait, that might have actually happened last year with a certain Sen. Jim Inhofe, R-Okla.)
Yes, I am alive. Despite my hilariously controversial column last week, I emerged from the backlash unscathed. I don’t take the criticism personally — I find it hard to take offense from peasants. Despite this, the folks who responded negatively were aggressive. I don’t feel comfortable walking through campus anymore; I’m afraid I’ll be assaulted by a radical follower of the #StopMichael movement. So, I’ve shaved my beard and placed a paper bag over my head to hide from potential assassins.
College is already hard enough as it is. Why would you even think about something like a student credit card to add to the number of things you have to be responsible for? Well, just like your degree will be a part of you long after you graduate, so will your credit score. A student credit card can be your ticket to graduating with an excellent credit score, which will leave you with plenty of handy financial options.
Free birds, Bernie supporters and Portland, Oregon: The only thing possibly more hippie-liberal is Bob Marley delivering a Hendrix-signed guitar to Che Guevara while driving a quinoa-and-kale-fueled smart car littered with “Imagine” and “co-exist” paraphernalia. Clearly the latter only resides in the daydreams of those who take bathroom breaks during work at precisely 4:20 p.m. However, the former actually took place on Friday: A cute, little bird landed on Bernie’s stage and then flew atop his podium during his rally speech. Some view the appearance of this bird as a sign of providence, of Bernie’s pure-hearted candidacy, Mother Nature’s Princess Leia appealing to Bernie to say, “Help me Bernie-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope”: not us at the Alligator.
It’s not enough to have representation — LGBTQ+ characters need to be alive and acknowledged, too. This seems logical, but it’s clearly not practiced in the media, which regularly practices tokenism: including a character of a certain identity but then not going anywhere with it. For example, in the recent Deadpool movie, Deadpool’s bisexual identity was not explicitly acknowledged. While it’s great those who follow the comics know he’s bisexual, most people had no idea, so it’s difficult to say this “counts” in terms of representation. It’s similar to how any movie Thor is in does not count as representation of women, even though Marvel Entertainment writer Jason Aaron made the new comic-book Thor a woman as of fall 2014. Representation in the media still leaves much to be desired.
A French girl studying to become a translator told me, “It’s easier to do some things in a foreign language, and it’s harder to do other things. It’s harder to be intimate, and it’s easier to get men.” In German and English, she didn’t have a pre-constructed barrier against men; she was less inhibited because she didn’t have the habit of inhibition. “I’ve always had to break up in English,” I told her, “but I sure do get pretty when I stop speaking it.” We laughed and clinked our beers.
This month marks the sixth anniversary of the Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare. Since its passage in 2010, more than 20 million people have signed up for affordable health care through healthcare.gov.
It’s been a difficult week, readers. We’ve seen tragedies both at home and abroad, and many of us are still reeling in the aftermath. But as the saying goes: Today is a new day filled with hope and opportunity. So thank you, readers, for tuning into our optimistic look forward, our lighthearted musings, our latest segment of….
Obesity in the U.S. is a problem. At a whopping 35 percent of U.S adults, it may even be an epidemic. While the severity of this phenomenon is undeniable, there’s a certain attitude commonly adopted toward obese people that bothers me. “Why don’t they just EAT less?” a friend once asked me, “or, like, not eat garbage? Try a salad!” She said this while pushing a grocery cart full of $3 strawberries and $5 organic lettuce.
"Aw Jesus, here too?” — was essentially my reaction to news that, Sunday night, nine officers opened fire on Robert Dentmond, a 16-year-old holding a replica rifle. Dentmond died shortly thereafter — after all, nine people shot at him.
Dear President Fuchs,
With the men’s NCAA basketball tournament underway and March Madness in full swing, I thought I’d remind you if your bracket isn’t ruined by now, it will be. You know that one guy you’re friends with on Facebook who feels like he has to mention how his bracket is in the 95th percentile on ESPN.com? Yeah, his bracket is screwed as well. All of ours are.
Istanbul and Ankara in Turkey and, now, Brussels: three major cities devastated by terrorist attacks in the past two weeks alone, resulting in the deaths of so many innocents and leaving countless more injured. In fact, since November’s attacks in Paris, Beirut and Baghdad, hundreds of terrorist attacks claimed by groups such as the Islamic State, al-Shabbab and al-Qaeda affiliates have wreaked devastation in communities and cities across the world. These desperate times call for us to stand together in solidarity, in unity and in peace, much like the vigils and demonstrations of empathy we’ve so graciously seen in broadcasts and on our news feeds. Unfortunately, this is not all we’ve seen.
West University Avenue provides us UF students with an outlet from being constantly contained on campus. Restaurants serve as alternatives to what many call “on-campus dining.” Some students make their ways to University Avenue on the weekends to relieve the stress the everyday weekday grind brings. More than anything, University Avenue is significant because it’s a walking distance escape from school, opportune for fleeting moments. But it could use some improvements, and some only require reprogramming and little bit of paint.
Sunday’s events have left many of us here at the Alligator heavy-hearted. We’ve reported on more student deaths and tragedies this semester than we can care to count, yet 16-year-old Robert Dentmond’s death is particularly troubling for us to discuss.
In 1854, U.S. diplomats wrote to Secretary of State William Marcy in the Ostend Manifesto that the U.S. should try to either purchase Cuba from Spain or declare war on Spain and seize Cuba. Beginning with the tenure of Thomas Jefferson and John Quincy Adams, the U.S. tried to take possession of Cuba to extend economic control over the region and expand U.S. slave territory. As Adams declared, the acquisition of Cuba was “an object of transcendent importance to the commercial and political interests of our Union.”
Transphobia and slut-shaming do not make someone a better feminist. In fact, saying that the victories won by transgender people somehow undermine one’s status as a white, cisgendered woman is a severe step in the other direction.
Solutions by The State News
