During my first semester of college, while killing time between classes, I found myself listening in on a classmate and his friends as they loudly engaged in a “Would you rather?” about girls.
New Year’s Eve was about lighting fireworks. New Year’s Day in Colorado was just about lighting up.
“Workaholics” fans remember the episode in which Adam, Ders and Blake become entangled with the Juggalos, or devotees of the rap and hip-hop duo Insane Clown Posse. Members of the Juggalos are, stereotypically, drug-addled low-income followers of the band famous for their yearly gathering — or as the New York Daily News called it, “weeklong bacchanal” — called the Gathering of the Juggalos. The Gathering is notorious for Juggalos engaging in “blatant drug use and general bad behavior.”
Another semester brought me another opportunity to contribute to the Alligator Opinions section. As I sat down and faced my laptop, preparing to write my first piece of the new year, I thought I should tackle the benefits of reading or my collegiate career so far. I wanted to stay away from politics at least for one week — we all want to start the semester on a good note.
Like taxes, gynecological exams and salad, drop/add week is a necessary evil — a time of the semester where classes are treated like sample stations at Costco, only instead of hairnet-wearing old ladies, professors and TAs are doling out the tastes of what the semester will bring.
Another year has come and gone. America began 2013 facing a number of difficult political and societal challenges, including an unemployment rate of 7.9 percent, increasing rates of economic inequality and poverty, and the ever-looming specter of global climate change.
Last night, the new year saw a new crop of screaming, swooning female hopefuls on “The Bachelor,” which began its 18th season on ABC. The premise of “The Bachelor” and its sister show, “The Bachelorette,” represents something both modern and weirdly primal: Cameras, boom mics and Chris Harrison follow a group of 20-somethings as they compete fiercely for the affection of a mate — presumably so the winner and said mate may become engaged and begin a life together.
If President Barack Obama is in need of a New Year’s resolution, I have the perfect one: Shut down your campaign.
Welcome back, Gators! Breaking news: It is about to be COLD in Gainesville. Like, seriously. Pull those hats and mittens out of retirement, and for those of you who rely on scooters as your main method of transportation — we are so sorry.
A lucky batch of seniors will graduate next week and depart into the real world of graduate schools, jobs and paid internships, international travel or mom and dad’s basement. They’ll have college degrees under their belts — essentially, really expensive pieces of paper to hang in their offices to remind them of the four (or three or five) years they spent at UF.
As a rule, we get the government we deserve. Political institutions work well when citizens are engaged: following the news, electing good representatives and pitching in ourselves to address serious national problems like health care and national security. When people are detached, governments generally fail.
Today, the Student Senate at UF will attempt to pass an anti-BDS bill titled “Resolution Condemning the Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions Movement.”
The general public’s reaction to the New Miley has been like finding a tarantula in the bathtub while somehow also witnessing a horrific train wreck. Fear, disgust, concern and morbid curiosity have all been rolled up into a giant ball of emotion that has fueled media coverage of the star’s transformation, as well as Twitter jokes and YouTube “Wrecking Ball” parodies ad nauseum. Most people view the New Miley as a loathsome, offensive brute; yet they can’t look away.
It’s 4:30 p.m., and I’m sitting alone in the newsroom.
Calling all future Dave Barrys, Maureen Dowds, Carl Hiaasens and Thomas Friedmans: The Alligator is accepting applications for Spring 2014 columnists, and we want YOU.
Let’s say you brought your favorite pet to college. Three exams and two papers later, you’re realizing you don’t have the time or space to care for Steve the Snake. Well, doesn’t every animal want to be free? Letting him go into the wild is the best option, right?
Rhinos are majestic but well-armored beasts with thick skin and enormous protruding horns on their noses. Many people just see rhinos as large ferocious animals that roam the African plains and are considered among the most deadly animals in Africa.
Last year, I finally gave in and scheduled the eye exam I’d put off since high school. My lens prescription needed updating, and I was tired of the bright red frames my 15-year-old self thought were cool. I was ready for some new glasses. Afterward, I engaged in the usual dance of pulling frames on and off my face a ridiculous number of times to choose a complementary pair.
In a week that was dominated by the antics of the crack-smoking mayor of Toronto and the remembrance of JFK, the United States Senate did something unprecedented.
Look, it’s 2013: We have tiny computers in our pockets, we can order pizzas without picking up a phone and we can stream an entire season of “Xena: Warrior Princess” on Netflix in one sitting. Information is available at our fingertips, and communication is effortless with the help of smartphones.
Solutions by The State News
