Opinions - The Independent Florida Alligator

OPINION | EDITORIALS

Myths Un-Mythed: old age

Aug. 29, 2016

We live in a world full of myths. Never mind the tales of Japanese-born mutant animals that enticed millions of us to actually leave our homes over the Summer and systematically enslave them within our smartphones or the tales of food items having wild sex orgy parties in supermarkets. (Don’t make the same mistake as our opinions editor and watch “Sausage Party” with your parents, thinking it’s only a comedy flick.).

OPINION | COLUMNS

Column: Saying goodbye to Gawker and mainstream anarchist journalism

Aug. 29, 2016

For the last week, the scandal that plagued Gawker.com has remained silent, its front page littered with parting words from editors and writers alike. Their headlines include, “How Guilty Should I Feel?” “Gawker Was Murdered by Gaslight,” and “What Was Gawker?” These final articles read like obituaries, mourning the impending shutdown of a site that, according to Gawker.com writer Hamilton Nolan, was, “anarchist journalism at it’s finest.”

OPINION | COLUMNS

Column: A conch shell of its former self, SpongeBob

Aug. 29, 2016

You’ve seen “SpongeBob SquarePants,” right? There’s, like, no way you haven’t. I’m pretty confident in saying it defined a generation — that’s not too far-fetched. “SpongeBob SquarePants” was a show filled with wit, character and charm. The comedy was smart despite its status as a children’s show, so we look back on it with warm regard rather than just with nostalgia goggles. But, its quality has declined in past years; the show is really a conch shell of its former self, and it’s something I’d like to analyze.

OPINION | COLUMNS

Column: In tennis, ‘Love’ means… absolutely nothing

Aug. 29, 2016

For those of you who are not acquainted with how we philosophy majors behave, let me familiarize you: Have you ever met someone who argues simply because they can? This weekend I was sitting with some fellow philosophy undergraduates in our natural habitat, a sanitarily adequate dive bar, talking about "college relationships." Are they superficial? Do they contribute to the development of maturity? As Hillary Clinton’s social-media intern would ask, “WTF is up wit dat lol #ImWitHurrrr.”

OPINION | EDITORIALS

Oil, tribes and corruption: a North Dakota bedtime story

Aug. 28, 2016

What do you get when you mix a massive oil pipeline, an unregulated oil market and a Native American protest movement making international headlines? The next Quentin Tarantino Western movie… or what’s happening in North Dakota.

OPINION | COLUMNS

Column: Are presidential polls legitimate?

Aug. 28, 2016

Let’s face it: People are impatient. And as the future’s chances of significantly changing people’s lives increases, the more impatient people become. Election results in November could push, or violently shove, America in the wrong direction for the next four years, which is why Americans look to presidential polls for a glimpse into what the future holds. The problem is that presidential polls are becoming as legitimate as the candidates themselves.

OPINION | COLUMNS

Column: A proverb reminds us how important work-life balance is

Aug. 28, 2016

There was once a fisherman who lived on an island with his family. Every day, he would catch enough fish to feed him and his family. Then, he would enjoy the rest of the day with his wife and children, playing guitar, singing and dancing throughout the night.

OPINION | COLUMNS

Guest: Help our earth: Reduce your use of plastics

Aug. 28, 2016

A widely known article, “The Tragedy of Commons,” written by Garrett Hardin, is used in many fields to analyze human behavior. The tragedy is an economic problem that occurs when individuals exploit a common or shared resource. As a result, the demand overwhelms supply, and the resource becomes unavailable to other groups. Individuals neglect the well-being of the group in pursuit of personal gain without regard for others; individuals benefit in the short-term but the group loses in the long run. This situation has implications for the use of resources, sustainability and the depletion of nonrenewable resources. And all of these factors coalesce in the grand catastrophe our generation faces: global warming — the increase of Earth’s average surface temperature due to a ton of emissions or pollutants, like carbon dioxide emissions from the production and incineration of plastic bags.

OPINION | EDITORIALS

Darts & Laurels: August 26, 2016

Aug. 25, 2016

Here we are, dear readers: the end of the first week of school. It feels like only a few short hours ago we were packing our bags and kissing our families goodbye as we ventured into the abyss of collegiate life. Time flies when you’re adding and dropping classes like there’s no tomorrow. For all of our new readers out there, welcome to the Friday version of our paper, where we survey the what’s going on in the world and either praise a story with a “laurel” or banish one forever with a “dart.” So get ready for our epic roast, our salty attitude gone wild, our Fall debut of…

OPINION | COLUMNS

Column: UF should extend the drop/add period for classes

Aug. 25, 2016

Riddle me this. Classes began Aug. 22, and by Aug. 26, only four days later, UF students are expected to have decided whether they want to drop their course. If not, they have to pay for it anyway.

OPINION | COLUMNS

Column: A strain between Iran and Russia, What does it mean?

Aug. 25, 2016

Last week, Iran and Russia reached a historic agreement that allowed Russia to launch military strikes from Iranian bases in order to “fight terrorism” and continue propping up the Assad regime. Considering no foreign military has operated from Iran since World War II, this was a considerable step forward for Russia and, as I see it, a considerable step backward for the millions of Syrians on the ground who feel firsthand the brunt of Assad’s regime. A Russia more involved in Iran and Syria is bad for everyone.

OPINION | EDITORIALS

A serious talk about masturbation humor

Aug. 24, 2016

Hey, Florida, we did it. For the first time in forever (Any “Frozen” fans out there?), something crazy and nationally humiliating happened, and it wasn’t in our state. Here, here: Drinks on us, everyone. According to the local Channel 8 News, police arrested a man they found publicly masturbating and “acting like (a) gorilla” at Giant Eagle Plaza in Warren, Ohio.

OPINION | COLUMNS

Column: Why the NBC broadcast has failed the Olympic message

Aug. 24, 2016

Don’t get me wrong: Michael Phelps is, indeed, one of the greatest athletes of our time. The man has pushed the limits of his sport, and as a former swimmer from a family of swimmers, I have the utmost respect for his contribution to the sport. That being said, it is time for Americans to stop turning the Olympics — an event created to celebrate all countries and their contributions to athleticism — into the Michael-Phelps-and-America Show.

OPINION | COLUMNS

Column: Reflections on my final days with my father

Aug. 24, 2016

I’m not an overly emotional person. This is obvious to those who know me well. But as I sit at my desk writing this column — my first for the Alligator — I can’t keep the tears from slowly streaming down my face and splashing onto my keyboard. Two weeks ago, my father passed away after a long fight with cancer. He was 53.

OPINION | EDITORIALS

Lost in a sea of Trump #2K16

Aug. 23, 2016

The media needs to relax its relentless Trump coverage. It’s already caused a lot of damage, and it will only continue to get worse.

OPINION | COLUMNS

Column: Undocumented is a better term than ‘illegal’

Aug. 23, 2016

Illegal parkers, illegal drinkers and illegal immigrants: What do they have in common?

OPINION | COLUMNS

Column: Less remakes, more original movies

Aug. 23, 2016

At the end of the “Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes” episode of “South Park,” Stan and Kyle are face-to-face with the evil force behind the town of South Park’s addiction to consumption: “Wall-Mart,” in the flesh. The town has been colonized with the irresistibly low prices and bargain deals of the “Wall-Mart.” The local community is disintegrating, because no one shops anywhere else. Stan’s father, Randy, is the town’s most helpless victim: a man who forsakes his job to work at "Wall-Mart" for the minute employee discount. In an absurd sequence of events — it’s “South Park” we’re talking about — the boys find themselves at the heart of South Park’s problems, as usual.

OPINION | COLUMNS

Column: Conquer Fall 2016 with less stress

Aug. 23, 2016

Most of the time, students find themselves engaging in activities that help them cope with the stress of college. Some of these include overeating, getting emotional or trying new relaxing experiences. Sadly, some of the students start to get involved with harmful activities that dissociate them from their anxiety.

OPINION | EDITORIALS

Editorial: The bathroom battle and the need for an honest conversation

Aug. 22, 2016

Well, congratulations, Gator Nation, we made it through a successful first day together. Hopefully you now feel comfortable looking toward the rest of the semester. And even if you’re still feeling kinda “meh” about returning, consider yourself lucky — at least you got to pee in peace.

OPINION | COLUMNS

Opinion: Let’s fight the good fight with some clear heads

Aug. 22, 2016

Hello, everyone. To those of you who don’t know me, my name is Zachary Lee. To those of you who do know me and enjoy the column, I sincerely thank you for your time, and I’m glad you’ll be joining me again this Fall. To those of you who do know me and don’t like my column, thanks for reading it anyway. I’m grateful you read the column the way I watch Fox News: to hear the other side of the conversation.