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Tuesday, March 17, 2026

The Avenue: Lifestyle

Florida Alligator
The Avenue

Forget your New Year's fitness resolution

At this stage in my life, the only practical benefit to regular exercise is improving my sexual attractiveness. (Health? I’m good, thanks. I voted for Obama, and he’s got me covered there.) I’ll pick up a dumbbell when the other channels of attracting women become obsolete.


Florida Alligator
The Avenue

Facebook reveals all

In high school, I jealously watched my older sister on her laptop. She was on Facebook, a network exclusively for college kids. I couldn’t wait for college — if not for the freedom, then definitely for the college e-mail address that would grant my entry into the elite Facebook club.


Florida Alligator
The Avenue

Racism becomes more subtle, complicated

Whenever I hear the word "racism," I think back to a friend I had in second grade named Christopher. Christopher, it turned out, wasn't big on black people. One afternoon, the two of us were playing on a jungle gym when two black boys asked to join us.



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