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Thursday, April 09, 2026

The Avenue

Florida Alligator
The Avenue

Road trips test manhood

If there is one great American rite of passage, it is the road trip. Haphazardly shoving people and belongings into a car and debauching ourselves across state lines is about as American as apple pie baked by underpaid immigrant laborers.


Florida Alligator
The Avenue

Dave’s ideal Fourth of July extravaganza

The Fourth of July. It’s possibly the greatest holiday that has ever existed. Some guys signed a piece of paper that brought the United States of America into existence, and more than two centuries later we commemorate that day in the most American way: grilling, getting belligerently drunk and watching things explode. I love July Fourth because I’m a big fan of America. It’s pretty much the best country I’ve ever lived in.


Florida Alligator
The Avenue

Dave Johnson had a Crappy Weekend

This is not the column I planned on writing this week. If everything had gone like it was supposed to, I'd be recapping my adventures at Bonnaroo. I had my ticket paid for me. My car was just about packed. And then I was reminded that this was the weekend my dad and I were supposed to visit my grandmother. Goodbye, Bonnaroo. Hello, Mishawaka, Indiana.


Florida Alligator
The Avenue

Pool party brings despair

Summer pool parties include beer, food, music, and girls in bikinis. What more could you ask for? Saturday seemed to be my lucky day, as Gainesville Place hosted its Summer A pool party.


Florida Alligator
The Avenue

UF group wins funniest comedy team

Gators have a new reason to turn their jorts-swag on: UF students Rudy Mendoza, Calvin Cole, Tim Keck and Brian Amos won the title of Funniest Comedy Team at the National College Comedy Competition.


The Avenue

Drinking 101 - Single Malt Scotch

From W.C. Fields to Ron Burgundy to Ron White, people love Scotch. There's no reason you can't, too! Wait, am I even writing about Scotch in a college newspaper? Get a hold of yourself, because if there's one thing in this world with the power to cross cultural and social boundaries, it's alcohol. So, prepare yourself to enjoy something new, and consider this your crash course in single malt Scotch whiskey.


Florida Alligator
The Avenue

My Beard is Not "Ironic": An Introspective

Those who know me knew this column was inevitable. However, I was not planning on writing it so soon. But something I saw in this very publication a week or two ago raised my ire to such a height that I could not help but offer my commentary on the situation.



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