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Monday, December 08, 2025

The Avenue | Lifestyle

Florida Alligator
THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

Dave Johnson’s parents sell house, he gets existential

By DAVE JOHNSON | July 13, 2010

I knew this was coming for years. My parents decided to sell the house so they could live closer to the water and their boat (I don’t blame them. Who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to drink and fish all day with minimal planning and effort?). Once I realized this, every time I came home I acted like it could potentially be the last time I see my house or my hometown of Miami.

Florida Alligator
THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

Road trips test manhood

By DAVE JOHNSON | July 7, 2010

If there is one great American rite of passage, it is the road trip. Haphazardly shoving people and belongings into a car and debauching ourselves across state lines is about as American as apple pie baked by underpaid immigrant laborers.

Florida Alligator
THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

Dave’s ideal Fourth of July extravaganza

By DAVE JOHNSON | June 30, 2010

The Fourth of July. It’s possibly the greatest holiday that has ever existed. Some guys signed a piece of paper that brought the United States of America into existence, and more than two centuries later we commemorate that day in the most American way: grilling, getting belligerently drunk and watching things explode. I love July Fourth because I’m a big fan of America. It’s pretty much the best country I’ve ever lived in.

Florida Alligator
THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

Dave Johnson had a Crappy Weekend

By DAVE JOHNSON | June 16, 2010

This is not the column I planned on writing this week. If everything had gone like it was supposed to, I'd be recapping my adventures at Bonnaroo. I had my ticket paid for me. My car was just about packed. And then I was reminded that this was the weekend my dad and I were supposed to visit my grandmother. Goodbye, Bonnaroo. Hello, Mishawaka, Indiana.

THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

UF Comedy Team to perform in Aspen for second time

By Jon Silman | June 2, 2010

The UF Stand Up Comedy Team has made it to the Funniest Four of The Rooftop Comedy National College Comedy Competition for the second consecutive year. The fabulous foursome are: Rudy “Glitter Machine” Mendoza, Calvin “Time Hooker” Cole, Tim “Shadow Box” Keck and Brian “New Guy” Amos.

Florida Alligator
THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

Super Mario Galaxy 2 Reviewed

June 2, 2010

Space. The final frontier. Where no one can hear you scream, and where everyone's favorite mustached avenger must return to once again save the princess on the back of a dinosaur-dragon and get a piece of that cake! Finally.

Florida Alligator
THE AVENUE  |  LIFESTYLE

A guide on how to recognize jerks

By DAVE JOHNSON | May 26, 2010

Dear readers, I have enjoyed my time so far serving as an Avenue columnist. By which, I mean that I enjoy getting my opinions and musings out there so I can entertain some bored students who just finished the crossword in the classifieds section. However, I will be taking my column in a different direction this time. Instead of entertaining you people with (mostly) true stories about being bored and anti-social, I will use my position as a semi-legitimate column writer to warn one and all about a very grave threat to our collective well-being: douchebags.

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