The Fanifesto: Does your fandom need questioning?
Aug. 22, 2009"Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."
"Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules."
Don't let Urban Meyer and Kyle Mastri fool you into thinking Joe Haden will be spending any real time on offense this season.
UF coach Urban Meyer has called Joe Haden one of the top five athletes he has ever coached.
When it came time to move up to Gainesville and start my college career three years ago, I ended up living in Thomas Hall with by best friend from high school.
December of my junior year, I was sitting in my friend Jen's apartment drinking Sangria. I was also about to fail my organic chemistry class, which I was taking for the third time after dropping it twice.
In introducing incoming freshmen to the Opinions pages of the Alligator, we have to temporarily revert (at least mentally) to what it was like to move to Gainesville. The only guideline we have to go on for the inaugural editorial is something freshmen would like.
I really feel bad for all you freshmen.
Alas, you've made it. Your 'rents are gone, you're already sick of Broward Dining and you may or may not have thrown up in your pillow case last night. (R.I.P. Fall 2006; I haven't eaten pad thai since.)
Although I doubt that I am the first person at UF that you have heard this from, I would like to welcome you to the University of Florida!
Greetings, oh young and naïve freshman!
Writing columns for the Alligator was never my first choice-I wanted to be a reporter. I've since realized I have zero aptitude for that profession, but that's what I wanted to do. After trying and failing and trying and failing, I decided to submit something to letters@alligator.org. To my surprise, it was published as a guest column. When I got the e-mail asking for my classification and major, I turned to my roommate and said, "I am going to be opinions editor of the Alligator by the end of the summer." And it happened.
This following is an open letter to all new freshmen at UF.
Urban Meyer says he has "extremely high expectations" for the 2009 Florida Gators.
Imagine what it must be like to be Stephen Alli.
There's something special about pick-up basketball.
It has been my secret dream for three years now to hijack my commencement speech. I had the perfect plan. There was just one problem; there will be no big-name speaker. When I learned this, it hurt. Because, Gators, there are issues we must discuss.
Thank you for your editorial piece "Campus ban removes smokers' rights." However, it neglects to mention one of the main problems with smokers: the fact that they just throw their butts on the ground no matter where they are at.
Change is afoot in Gainesville right now. All it takes is one look at the Alligator parking lot full of cars crammed with clothes, kitchen utensils and random boxes to know that summer is coming to an end, and everyone is ready to begin anew in his or her freshly leased pads. But, before you get too excited (and crumple up this paper to use as packing material), we would like to present you with an are-there-really-only-two-weeks-until-fall edition of…
Sunday nights, trash nights, before I roll the garbage out to the curb, I strip off all my clothes and leave them in a little pile on the bench by the front door. Naked, I approach the street with the garbage can, which smashes the grass under its weight. It's one of the busiest streets in Akron, Ohio, during the day. But come 2 a.m., traffic is sparse. After the can is in position on the curb, I don't hurry back to my pile of clothes. Instead, I pace the dew-soaked grass, and I let the night air touch all the parts of my body it normally can't.