The Avenue - The Independent Florida Alligator

THE AVENUE | MUSIC

Album review: Keane - "Perfect Symmetry"

By ROBERT HILSON | Oct. 29, 2008

Economy in crisis. Russia flexing military muscle. Metallica kicking ass. Yeah baby, it's the 80s all over again. Keane's look could use a perm and spandex, but their neon-flecked sound is already primped for the Jazzercise age. On "Perfect Symmetry," the British three-piece swaps their emo-piano fetish for synth-spiked, Ric Ocasek-approved retro goodness. The way-back machine takes full effect on the shockingly melodic "You Haven't Told Me Anything," which floats on breezy harmonies and hip-shaking new wave guitar. "Again & Again" only ups the pop ante with an absolutely explosive chorus. The bridge alone could erase the memory of "Is It Any Wonder?" Hell, it could single-handedly take down the Berlin Wall and vindicate Reaganomics: the good-idea trickle-down effect at last reaches Keane.

THE AVENUE | MUSIC

Album review: Monkey - "Journey to the West"

By ROBERT HILSON | Oct. 29, 2008

English singer-songwriter Damon Albarn obviously has an affinity for primates. In his new incarnation as Monkey, the Gorillaz mastermind combines his love of hairy apes and the Far East in "Journey to the West," an ambient document that completely rationalizes stifling imagination at a young age. It's creative if nothing else, melding oriental instrumentation, electronic beats and the lyrical musings of geishas and dragon kings. "Monkey Bee," a hypnotic, synthesized rocker, arrives about twenty tracks too late and proves one of few passages to translate cleverness into actual appeal. The spastic chalk-board screech "Battle in Heaven," on the other hand, is payback enough for years of tainted crayons and chemically activated toys. As the opera progresses, the cultural connections emerge. You hit a great wall halfway through. The rest is like water torture.

THE AVENUE | NIGHTLIFE

Here's a tip: leave one

By GABRIELLE FALCONEIRI Avenue Writer | Oct. 29, 2008

This week's column continues our journey through proper bar etiquette. Now that you have your drink in hand, we'll move on to the next area where problems often arise - paying.

THE AVENUE | NIGHTLIFE

Mind your bar manners

By GABRIELLE FALCONEIRI | Oct. 22, 2008

This difficult midterms week that recently passed wore on my patience because of the day-to-day annoyances bartenders face. It inspired me to share my thoughts on bar etiquette from start to finish.

THE AVENUE | SEX

Halloween treats adults to more than just candy

By STEPHANIE DUNN | Oct. 22, 2008

I'm convinced Halloween was created for the sole purpose of getting boned. No other holiday compares. When mischief and moonlight abound, someone is going to get laid. Throw in a chintzy costume, garish makeup and orange beer, and you're done for.

THE AVENUE | LIFESTYLE

Hotel Cafe Tour comes to Gainesville's Common Grounds

By CARLY FAIN | Oct. 22, 2008

One bus, one band and a group of friends will hit Gainesville music venue Common Grounds today at 9 p.m.

THE AVENUE | MUSIC

Album review: Of Montreal – "Skeletal Lamping"

By ROBERT HILSON | Oct. 22, 2008

Kevin Barnes lost his marbles a long time ago. Now his pants must go. Of Montreal's "Skeletal Lamping" uncovers the brainchild's most outrageous fantasies in a series of wildly uninhibited hallucinations - each deceptively catchy, each bat-shit freaky. The track titles -"An Eluardian Instance," "Nonpareil Of Favor" - baffle as much as the actual music, which shuns conventional song structures for whimsical snippets blended indiscriminately into a faux-disco smoothie. Prince says it goes down easy. And it does - the slinky R&B, the electro-pop excursions, the noise jams. It's an orgy of a record that takes us to the bottom of Barnes's rabbit hole where he buried his two most cherished readings - Webster's Dictionary and the Kama Sutra.

THE AVENUE | MUSIC

Q&A with Rachel Yamagata

By CARLY FAIN | Oct. 22, 2008

Rachael Yamagata, the singer, songwriter and pianist, has released her second full-length album called "Elephants … Teeth Sinking Into Heart," and she's hopping on the bus for the Hotel Café Tour, which also features folk-rock singers Ingrid Michaelson and Meiko.

THE AVENUE | MUSIC

Album review: Murs – "Murs for President"

By ROBERT HILSON | Oct. 22, 2008

Where would democracy be without the third party? Exactly where it is today, but don't tell that to Murs. With "Murs for President," the L.A. rapper throws his hat into the political ring with a free-styling beat-fest that's both wordy and repetitive - he would make a great stump speech. His everyman message: "You might think that you know me / You know where I'm coming from." Actually no, Murs, we don't know you, so let's begin the vetting process. His stance on immigration, from "Lookin' Fly": "My Brazilian / She worth a few million / Beauty and brains / Might let her have my children." Surprisingly tolerant! Foreign policy experience, from "Soo Comfortable": "Moved away from Maui to European valleys." Hell, he's probably pals with Sarkozy. But can he pull the female vote? From guitar-riff laden "Road Is My Religion": "Every night different women want to please me." I think we have ourselves a contender.

THE AVENUE | MUSIC

Album review: Rachael Yamagata – "Elephants … Teeth Sinking Into Heart"

By ROBERT HILSON | Oct. 22, 2008

Dow, Pacman - it sucks to be a Jones these days. So to ward off any negative surname karma, Norah has officially changed her name to Rachael Yamagata, piano-crooner extraordinaire. On "Elephants…Teeth Sinking Into Heart," Yamagata - if that's really her name - makes understated, acoustic music for coffee houses. For all of their nuance and organic instrumentation, "What If I Leave" - answer: I probably wouldn't notice because I fell asleep half an hour ago - and "Over and Over" match herbal tea for sheer excitement. It comes as a kick in the stomach when, for the love of PJ Harvey, disc two erupts with three vicious, melodic rockers. Maybe the Norah comparisons are off, but that's what she gets for making me suffer through the "Elephant" tranquilizer.

THE AVENUE | MOVIES AND TV

'Max Payne' is too painful to sit through

By DAVID STUZIN | Oct. 22, 2008

To be successful, an action film needs only to have two things: a plot that's somewhat interesting and lots of macho characters, memorable one-liners, explosions and weapon fights. "Max Payne" has none of the former and unfortunately lacks the latter.

THE AVENUE | LIFESTYLE

Godless godfather questions faith in himself

By ERIK VOSS | Oct. 22, 2008

In a bold and risky move, my sister asked me to be godfather to her child.

THE AVENUE | MUSIC

Album review: The Weight – "Are Men"

By ROBERT HILSON | Oct. 22, 2008

Cows coming home, days in the sun, cold Budweiser - it's the finer things in life that concern country collective The Weight. While "Are Men" ruminates lyrically on simple pleasures and equally simple pains, the music relies heavily on intricacy. The cowboys' equation: Silver Jews, minus smart-ass irony and plus an extra shot of twang. "Hillbilly Highway" is pretty much exactly what you'd expect - a beer-soaked love song for hicks, fleshed out with organ fills and yeehaw fiddle. It's a somber affair for the most part, but "Had It Made" shakes off the Jack and Coke haze with a Tweedy-esque melody and stomping guitar interplay. The tune cuts to the barbecued heart of The Weight - these "Men" are really just a bunch of good ol' boys.

THE AVENUE | FASHION

A Gainesville clubbing clothes critique

By REGINA STUZIN | Oct. 22, 2008

The Gainesville club scene is not my favorite crowd. I'm much more of a small, pretentious boutique club girl myself, but my loving friends and roommates have dragged me out to my share of Gainesville clubs, and I have not been impressed by what I've seen. Maybe it's because my taste in going-out attire is just different than most, but some of the outfits I've seen out on Friday and Saturday nights in Gainesville are beyond wretched. In my tradition of trying to better the taste of the Gainesville population, I'll describe some outfits I don't think you should wear out.

THE AVENUE | MOVIES AND TV

'How to Lose Friends and Alienate People' wins audience

By DAVID STUZIN | Oct. 15, 2008

"How to Lose Friends and Alienate People" is a strikingly clever movie title; not only because of its length but also because it manages to be somewhat ironic. The funny and friendly movie certainly doesn't alienate the audience but draws them into a big, warm bear hug of romantic humor.

THE AVENUE | MUSIC

Album review: Mercury Rev – "Snowflake Midnight"

By ROBERT HILSON | Oct. 15, 2008

There's a place in the market for white noise, and nobody knows this better than Mercury Rev. With "Snowflake Midnight," the veteran space-rockers piece together an orthopedic pillow of an album that's not only as serenely unexciting as its name suggests but could likely accompany "trickling stream" and "rainforest animals" as the third setting on a Sleep Mate sound machine. Each of the few engaging moments scattered throughout - the soft-loud dynamic in "People Are So Unpredictable (There's No Bliss Like Home)," the Little-Drummer-Boy-learns-techno choral passage of "Dream of a Young Girl as a Flower" - is promptly smothered to death by an extended ambient interlude. This is the sonic equivalent of turkey: it's pretty bland by itself, and after consumption, all you want to do is take a nap.

THE AVENUE | MUSIC

Album review: Oasis – "Dig Out Your Soul"

By ROBERT HILSON | Oct. 15, 2008

If the Cubs ever won a World Series, the universe would collapse on itself. Likewise if Oasis ever made another classic album -some things just aren't meant to happen. But Noel Gallagher has a go at greatness anyway, and on "Dig Out Your Soul," he comes very close before little brother Liam and friends set him back another hundred years. The first four songs, penned by the older, more talented sibling, make up a bristling suite channeling the sounds of London, circa 1969. "Bag It Up" and "The Shock of the Lightning" strut to quintessential Oasis - swaggering guitar rock, pissed off and brash. And too good to be true. Liam and the rotating cast of sidemen promptly pull a Steve Bartman: distracting the professional from accomplishing something special.

THE AVENUE | NIGHTLIFE

So you think you can pass for 21?

By GABRIELLE FALCONEIRI | Oct. 15, 2008

Much to Bernie Machen's dismay, Gainesville is a town that loves to party. Most people who grew up here or go to UF get into the party atmosphere early and try to figure out ways to get around that pesky drinking age.

THE AVENUE | LIFESTYLE

Imitation not really the sincerest form of flattery

By ERIK VOSS | Oct. 15, 2008

I never realized how generic my taste in fashion is until I spent more time on campus. It seems like every other day that I spot some dope in Turlington wearing a shirt I have somewhere in my closet, or worse, one I'm currently wearing.

THE AVENUE | MUSIC

Album review: Rise Against – "Appeal To Reason"

By ROBERT HILSON | Oct. 15, 2008

The boys in Rise Against could probably take out David Blaine in a breath-holding contest. How do I know? Because "Appeal To Reason" is a 47-minute, make-your-cheeks-turn red scream-a-thon, somehow peppered with enough actual words to resemble something of a concept album bemoaning the collapse of Western civilization. Exhale. "Kotov Syndrome" pegs the formula - hey! hey! backing vocals, mosh-inducing chord progressions and anger. Lots of anger. Not a great deal of range here, unless the scale runs from "'roid rage" to "where's the baseball bat?" "Collapse (Post-Amerika)" tactfully depicts a doomsday scenario. Spoiler alert - we spell America with a K. It all tries to sound grave and important, but through it all, your mind will wonder: Can these guys belch the alphabet?