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Friday, December 01, 2023

Editorial Staff

Florida Alligator

Darts And Laurels

Looks don’t really matter at the end of the summer, especially in North Florida. The entirety of the Gainesville population is dripping with sweat and unbothered by unkempt appearances.

Florida Alligator

Red Scare

They move around, barely visible to the naked eye. In silence, they attack their victims and leave us in agonizing pain when all we want to do is get to class. No, not terrorists. We're talking about the newest sadistic wave taking over Gainesville.

Florida Alligator

Name Game

The battle rages on, and the end is nowhere in sight. As Student Government parties continue fighting over just their names, they delay qualifying for would-be senatorial candidates. This does not bode well for a smooth election season.

Florida Alligator

Darts all around

We're mad. We have too much homework and too little sleep. Too few beers and too little money. Not enough clothing and not enough laundry money. We're pissed, and we're not afraid to say it. This week, the Department of Darts & Laurels might as well be a crotchety old man - you know, that bald 80-year-old covered in liver spots who yells at those damn kids to get off his lawn. So stay out of our way today as we vent our frustrations in this week's furious-and-fuming edition of…

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